One way or another

Heartattack

Destiny's POV

I was grabbing the last of my things, when in walked a nightmare. Justin. I stood there frozen. His gaze landed my body. He looked me up and down with tears in his eyes.

"D-D-Did....... D-did i do Th-Th-this to y-you?" His eyes just searched me for answer. I stood there, nodding my head. His hand furiously ran through his hair. Tears started to fall down his face. His head was shaking back and forth, he was mumbling things under his breath. All of just stopped as a small sob escaped his lips. 

"destiny..........." His voice was horse. Sobs kept coming as he pulled at the tips of his hair. I was frozen, my heart was racing, my mind going a mile a minute. Still, nothing happened. 

"Destiny...... I'm so...so...sorry, i cant explain how much I am. I was drunk, i wished and wish i didn't kiss her, but i did. I need you, I'm sick of waking up without you in my arms, I'm sick of not being able to hold your hand, I'm sick of myself. I never knew i could mean that much to you, i  never knew i  could do something so stupid, i lost you, i lost the other half of me, half of me.....no  ALL of me is missing without you. I never thought i would be the person to cause you this much  pain. you don't deserve it. I don't deserve you...... I know it doesn't mean anything to you now...... but i still love you. I'll always love you." During every word  he would inch closer to me. He reached up and lifted my chin with his hand.  I couldn't make eye contact, if i do i'll break. I just looked at the wall. I felt a tear slip, his thumb wiped it away.  My breath hitched as his left hand cradled my face.

" Please look at me destiny........ " I glanced in his direction, my mistake, we made eye contact. I started to get lost in those beautiful eyes. I then noticed his red puffy eyes, tear stained cheeks, bags under his eyes, and how his cheeks got slimmer. He looked like he was ill. Slowly his hand moved to the back of my neck, holding me in his trance. So many memories ran through my mind. So much of the pain. My hands moved with a mind of there own, they removed me from his grasp. A breath escaped me that i didn't even know i was holding. A flash of hurt shot across his face. 

" I can't...... I just can't. I was hurt for so long, alone in my own pain. i was drowning in my thoughts. Every single memory just came and hit me like a ton of bricks. It was all your fault, I forgive, but no...just n-n-no." I shook my head rapidly as i reached for my bag. I turned to walk away, but he stopped me. His hand griped my wrist like a lifeline. His eyes were pleading me. 

" Jus- NO, I'M NOT LETTING YOU GO! i love you, i need you. Say you hate me! Saw you wish i was dead! say it so i don't have to hope, say it so i can let go.........."  He was holding me at arms distance. Tell him i hate him, I can't, I couldn't. I just shook my head looking down. He rapidly shook his head, steped back, then crashed his lips into mine.  Every feeling that i ever had came pouring into my mind. Then they day got worse........

"DESTINY!?!?"