Lethal Love

18 ; A Fraction of a Moment

A paint brush is positioned between my fingers, hovering over a clean white canvas. A light blue shade is smeared on the tip but before any color transfers I put it down. I let out a frustrated sigh. This has never happened before, which makes it all the more discouraging. My mind is as blank as the canvas itself.

I used to think I would combust with lines and shapes and colors because my mind was full of creation. But none of it, not even a tiny dot, is left. 

My mind wanders to Jackson instead. It's been a week since the McDonalds incident. He's avoided me since, even going as far as ditching detention. I don't know why. I though we were getting along fine but I guess I was wrong. Another frustrated sigh leaves my throat.

I throw the brush against the wall. Sparkles of blue dash all over the white wall and the brush falls to the floor with a clack. 

"Fudging hell..." I mumble. 

With another sigh, I get up from the chair to retrieve a washcloth from my bathroom. But when I get back and look at the wall again, the last thing that comes to mind is washing it away. Instead, I pick up the brush and start dragging the color out. I dip my brush directly in the small tub of blue paint and transfer it onto the wall. The strokes are messy and I don't even have enough paint to cover a square meter of the wall. It's blotchy and uneven, specks of white peeking through.

It clashes with the clean white look my room has. I almost laugh at the thought. 

I remember seeing a catalogue on the kitchen counter when I was around 13. Mom had just bought it at the grocery store and I was looking through it while she was making some sort of casserole. 

"Oh look at that room! Isn't it so pretty?" she said with enthusiasm.

I studied the picture. 'White wonder' was written over it in faded gray cursive letters. The picture was displaying a bedroom with a king sized double bed. White sheets, light gray pillows and a soft white duvet. The walls were a bright white color as well, almost reflecting the sunlight from the window. It was all plain white.

"Yeah. It's really pretty. I like it."

"Oh you do? Well I bet we could get daddy to redo your room if you'd like. We could even get you that bed. Do you want that?" Mom was almost ecstatic.

Does a white box really make her that excited and happy?  I thought of my bedroom as it was. Light purple walls and pink curtains. A bunk bed with a princess cover. Colors clashed all over. But I loved my room.

"Yeah. Sure. I think it's time to clean it  up a bit." I smiled at my mom as she strutted to the casserole that was now ready to be taken out of the oven.

The memory replays in my mind several times. My mom would have a fit if she saw the blue square on my wall. 

"Adeline!" Tyler comes barging in my room. He stops abruptly when he sees the situation I've created. A funny look crosses his features. "Uh... Are you gonna clean that up?"

"No." I cross my arms. My eyes narrow in a glare.

Tyler narrows his own eyes. "I was just asking." He copies my position.

"Why are you in here?" 

Tyler lets out a sigh. His shoulders fall a bit and I almost pull my glare back. We've been on rocky roads ever since he and Hailee broke up. Ever since he broke them up.

"There's someone-

He's interrupted when another person comes barging into my room. My glare falls as surprise takes over. I'm pretty sure my mouth is open and my eyes are about to pop out.