Song of the Chapter: Slow It Down - The Lumineers "You cannot save someone else from their darkness until you save yourself from yours; but darling, you are not even acknowledging yours."
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LOUIS HAD TWO CHOICES, HE Realized. He could end this all now, all at once. All he had to do was ask for it. He could easily continue his stubborn act, denying any form of aid from the castle and push Harry away. Deny to be his omega, deny to be his servant. Deny to submit.
Most would label him brave for this decision. But Louis knew that was the coward choice. What makes that decision cowardly, many would ask. Because, Killian was right. This isn't Louis' life anymore.
Whatever he does now, will not just affect him. It will affect everyone around him. He will no longer be the only one to feel defeat, but so will his sisters, Sam, his mother, and all of his village.
Louis could feel metaphorical slits cut into the sides of his apprehensiveness, He could close his eyes desperately, hoping that all of this wasn't real. And deny the obvious decision he must make right this moment.
Louis' heart felt hollow, and it screamed for him to return back to the Lowlands. But what was left for Louis at the Lowlands? And what was left for Sam? Would Louis rather they stay here, close to death, abused, feeling every last drop of pain that this decision brought them? Or would he rather go back to feeling the feeling he despised the most: numbness.
There will be no love, no hope, no justice, no feelings, nothing that makes life a wonderful adventure. Louis would be a robotic omega, working and serving his life to survive through the harmful clutches of the alpha's reign as a service rather than how he pleased.
Yes, Louis would rather stay where he is than go back to a life like that.
Louis has seen suffering. He has seen people die from disease because of lack of medicine, or clean water. He has seen suicide attempts. He has seen little omega's be sold to alphas so their family could get extra bread.
"You're pathetic. Unable to understand how you have more power than God himself right now," Killian had said to him before, "you have the ability to control your fate and you're letting the opportunity flash by like lightening."
Louis was now the ruler of his own destiny if he chose to mate with Harry. He could be the change he dreamt of.
Louis then feels a pang of guilt go through his ears. He wished he could go to Sam. Hug his best friend and tell him they were safe from the horrors they had left behind. But he couldn't. All he could do right now is show Sam it will be alright.
