I Will Love You Endlessly (Sequel to i dare you to love me)

Part 21

Phil can't breathe.

His chest is tight with a familiar feeling of anxiety that loomed over him the day he had planned to propose, and he's got his hands clasped tightly together in fear of knocking anything over. His body is rigid and stiff, and PJ places a hand on his shoulder that nearly makes him jump out of his skin.

"Relax," he tells him with a smile. "Today is going to be the best day of your life."

And Phil just smiles, because he doesn't trust himself to open his mouth in fear of throwing up or saying something intelligible, but the smile is as genuine as can be; PJ is right, this truly is the best day of his life.

He remembers the first day he laid eyes on Dan, the day he walked into Game of Thorns for the first time and saw the tall, slightly awkward sales associate who all but shouted at him when he first walked in. But that was just something that attracted Phil to him, as strange as it sounds - because Dan was a bit 'out there' at times - the way he could ramble on and on about flowers and plants, the way he spent his weekends going to botanical gardens instead of clubs. He was so unconventional, yet so attractive and endearing.

He remembers falling in love with Dan, how thrilling and terrifying it was but above all, how it ended up being the best thing to ever happen to him. If his life was a garden, Dan would be the biggest and most beautiful flower amongst them all, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

Phil finds himself pulled out of his thoughts when he sees everyone in the venue rising to their feet, and his heart starts to race. It's time.

The band begins to play 'The Wedding March' and Phil's breath hitches when he sees Dan. Their eyes lock and Phil can see his dimpled smile from all the way at the end of the aisle, and it takes all Phil has in him not to start crying because Dan is just so beautiful and he's so happy right now. He doesn't take his eyes off of Dan as he walks down the aisle, and he doesn't want to blink because he doesn't want to let go of his moment for a second.

Dan stops at the end of the aisle and he kisses his mum's cheek, then his dad's, and then he turns to Phil with a wide smile on his face. Wordlessly, Phil takes Dan by the hand and he leads him the rest of the way down the aisle, the two of them standing at the altar hand in hand. "Hi," Dan says to him, his voice barely audible but Phil can hear him clear as day.

"Hi," Phil whispers back. It's time.

"Dearly beloved," the officiant begins and Phil holds his breath while he speaks, squeezing Dan's hand a bit tighter. Dan squeezes back.

"We are gathered here today on these beautiful grounds to celebrate the love of these two beautiful young people, Daniel and Philip. There is no greater way to express one's love for another then by the two of them joining together in matrimony, the greatest and perhaps most challenging of all human relationships. But as we all know, no ceremony can create a marriage; only you, Philip and Daniel, can do that - through patience, through dedication, through laughter, through listening, through talking, through helping, through supporting, through believing in each other, through learning to forgive, through learning to appreciate each other's differences, through learning to make each and every day together matter. But most importantly, through love. To quote Stephen Kendrick, The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love. Philip and Daniel have chosen to love each other, and may the love between them last nothing short of a lifetime."

Phil turns to lock eyes with Dan as he says that, and he can feel the tears welling up in his eyes. 'A lifetime,' he thinks. 'How lucky would I be to be with Dan Howell for a lifetime.'

"What this ceremony can do," the officiant continues. "Is provide witness and affirmation for the choice you two have made to stand together as life mates, partners, and husbands. And now for Philip's and Daniel's declarations of intent." The officiant nods to Phil, letting him know he can begin reading his vows.

Phil's hands shake as he reaches inside of his jacket pocket and he pulls out a piece of paper. He unfolds it and clears his throat before reading.

"Dan," he begins and his voice shakes a little. "When you first suggested that we write our own vows, I was terrified. I'm not like you, I don't have a way with words and I'm not the best at putting my thoughts on paper. And trying to capture the way I feel about you and putting it into words has not been an easy task, to say the least, but I guess if we're standing here at the altar listening to me read this, I must've managed."

He pauses when everyone, including Dan, chuckles at that and he rolls his shoulders back, feeling more relaxed, before continuing. "When I was trying to research what to write and how to write it, I saw a lot of 'write what you know' so that's what I've decided to do."

He clears his throat again and then reaches out one of his hands to take Dan's to hold as he reads, "I, Phil Lester, take you, Dan Howell, to be my my husband. And as your husband, I promise to love you unconditionally, to be yours as long as you'll be mine, and to be by your side no matter what comes our way. I promise to laugh and cry with you, to make new memories with you while cherishing our old memories. I promise to lie on the floor with you when you're attacked by the Existential Crisis Monster in the late hours of the night. I promise to stop leaving my socks lying on the floor in the hallway. I promise to stop eating your cereal with my hands. I promise not to take it personally when you pay more attention to your plants then you do to me. I promise to ask your permission before buying more house plants for our flat. I promise to fill our life together with so many flowers that you and I will be walking through our garden forever. I promise to spend everyday of our lives even more in love with you then the day before. I promise to be your best friend for the rest of our lives. And most importantly, from here on out, everyday we're together I promise to dare you to love me."

Dan takes a moment to close his eyes, a stray tear rolling down his cheek, and he composes himself briefly before taking his own vows out of his jacket pocket, trying to unfold it with one hand because he can't bring himself to let go of Phil's, and he begins to read his own vows.

"Phil, before I met you, the only thing I loved more than anything was flowers. When I was around flowers and when I was at my shop, I felt at home. Then something changed and you came into my life, and suddenly 'home' was wherever I was with you. Suddenly, I learned that home was not a place, it was a person - a feeling. And that's what being in love with you feels like - it feels like coming home."

He pauses for a moment, blinking back tears, and when Phil sniffles a bit he gives his hand a tight squeeze. "I love you Phil Lester, and today take you to be my husband. And as your husband, I promise to care for you the way you care for me. I promise to love you with all of my heart for as long as we both shall live. I promise to hold you in my arms when you're sad, I promise to kiss your tears away when you cry, and I promise to be the reason behind your happiness day in and day out. I promise to stop tracking in dirt when I get home from the shop, and on the days that I still do, I promise to clean up after myself. I promise to try not to get mad at you when you whisper questions while we watch films. I promise you that no matter how many flowers come in and out of my life, you will always be my favorite one. And above all, I promise to love you just as much as I did the day I dared you to love me."

"May I have the rings please?" the officiant asks and when he's handed the wedding rings, he places one in Phil's hand and says, "Philip, place this ring on Daniel's left ring finger and say, 'with this ring, I thee wed.'"

Phil follows his instructions, sliding the wedding band on Dan's finger and he says in a clear voice, "With this ring, I thee wed."

"Now Daniel, you place this ring on Philip's left ring finger," the officiant tells him. "And say, 'with this ring, I thee wed.'"

Dan chokes on the words a bit, taking a moment to clear his throat and swallow back some more tears, before he slides the ring on Phil's finger, pausing to hold his hand as he says, "With this ring, I thee wed."

"And by the power invested in me," the officiant says. "I now pronounce you a married couple." He looks at Dan and Phil with a wide smile and says, "You may now kiss your groom."

And with those words, Phil doesn't hesitate to place his hands on Dan's waist and pull him in close, kissing his husband for the very first time.