Nothing has changed, I thought as I stared at the blank bedroom wall. Nothing has changed at all. Four years has past and I'm still staring at the same blank wall. It's Friday, the club is going to be crowded tonight, Tony will be standing there at the entrance and give me the same disappointed stare again. Whatever, he doesn't know my past, what has happened to me four years ago to make me like this. I look at the glittery silver high heels; I spent five dollars for it at the GoodWill store instead of thinking about dinner. It doesn't matter though, some creep will probably hit on me and I'll make him get me a drink and a few dollars for breakfast tomorrow morning. It's 6:30 pm right now, four hours until the nightclub opens. That means I should probably start getting dressed and think about if I should hitch a ride or walk. I don't have the best dress but I have something short enough to catch a few eyes. I decided to put on my cheap drugstore makeup. As I walk into my crummy bathroom I stare at the cracked dusty mirror hanging over a sink that doesn't even have running water. I look around until I found the makeup, there was a little bit left for a few more days. I stare at the blood red lipstick that taste like lead. Some perv is probably going to smudge my lipstick tonight, but hey at least I get a free drink and a couple bucks. I'm not some sort of stripper or prostitute, I'm actually a lonely person who has no one in the world to be comforted by and no job to support me. I never let any man go far with me, I get too scared because at any minute I can have a child; and I'm not going to let my child suffer the same life I'm living. I slather on the lipstick and use my eyeshadow, mascara, and eyeliner to cake my face in. I run my fingers through my hair till all the knots are out. I pick a black mini dress and stare at the silver heels, they still hurt my eyes every time I look at them. I go back into my bedroom (If you can call it that) and sit down on my thin flat mattress. That's my bed, a mattress, because I can't afford a blanket or pillow. This place I'm living in is abandoned. No one decided to take care of this place and forgot about it, just like me. My outlet in order to contain my raging emotions is to go to the nightclub every night that they're open and decided there that that's where I'll get money for food. I see that the moon is starting to peek out as I look through the cracked window. It's time to go. I put on my silver heels and walk out as the heels clicked on the wooden floor. The click clack of the heels start to give me some confidence as I try to push back the tears stinging in my eyes. This is my fault, if I have listened to his words I would be home laughing and smile with my loved ones instead of fleeing for my life at the very thought of his face. It doesn't matter though, this is the price I pay as I walk down the street. The glow from the street lights shine onto my heels making them even more shiny and glittery. Some man drives by in his beat up truck and gives me a wolf whistle. I ignore him. Two more blocks and the nightclub will be on my left. I don't need to sign in or have to RSVP, all the staff members know who I am, they'll know I'll be here. Especially since it's Friday night. One more block. I stop for a second and look at the full bright moon. "I wonder if you're lonely just like me," I whisper to the big ball of rock in the sky, "At night do you feel the same way like I do? To feel like you're hiding in plain sight yet no one cares to find you?" The moon stares back and doesn't say a word. Now you're losing your mind, terrific. I shake my head to get rid of my thoughts and continue walking. Everyone always say to their loved ones about how they are the sun in their lives and that they can't live without them or else they'll be in a world of darkness, but what about the moon? To continue giving you light and being there in your darkest hours? If I listened to what he said my loved ones would be here; to be my sun, moon and all the stars in my infinite darkness called my mind, to soothe me when I'm screaming my lungs out because words aren't enough for me. I looked down at my heels, my heels that will help with money and food tonight. You're all I left. Who said that heels can't help you when you're in need? You have a minute left before you get to the club.... Tomorrow, I'll get dress in my black mini dress, I'll run my fingers through my hair to make it looked like it was properly brushed, I'll put on my blood red lipstick and worry about getting more when the week rolls by, I'll wake up to stare at the same bleak wall and talk to the moon, and finally, I'll put on my glittery silver high heels. Nothing has changed, I thought as I round the corner where the club is at. Nothing has changed at all.
*Author's Note*
Thanks for reading! Please, this is my story that I created so don't copy it or take the idea and say that it's yours, thanks!
