and then it happend... again.

seeing him for the first time.

I sat at the lunch table with my sisters at the time best friend. I was talking to her across the street then caught a glimpse of a guy.
A guy that made me take a double take. I looked back at him and I couldn't help but stare. I felt my heart beating in my chest and I could hear it in my ears the guy was looking at me and I panicked and looked away but I caught myself looking again every chance I could. He was... So... Perfect.
Later that day on the bus I saw him, I distracted myself from looking at him and being weird by stairing at my phone. He asked me what my Snapchat was... On the inside I was screaming it to him! I mean come on I seek intrest in one person and THEY talk to me? You've got to be kidding me?!? I then smart mouthed him and said something along the lines of "non of your buisnes" I was pissed at myself even. His friends gave him shit. He looked pretty down and I felt really horrible.... The next day I sat at lunch and he sat down rapping again. He was always spitting bars. I told him to add me on facebook. So he told me to add him and that's when I found out his name. His name is Ethan Ross. I fell for his smile and the way he looked into my eyes and made everything feel good again. Maybe it was the piercings or maybe the tattoo but holy hell he had me at first glimpse. We ended up talking for a while and..  Well... We we're "talking talking"  he touched my hand then held it I was in shock and felt overwhelmed my whole body got tingly and I didn't know what to do. He huged me and my heart skipped a beat but damn when he kissed me I felt as if a ghost went through me and took my warmth he made me happy once more and I liked him.. A lot honestly. But there were complications with our relationship because of his exes they made things up (as far as I know) and made me want to break up with him. So we did. But I loved him already and I had no ability to allow myself to keep it that way. He got kicked out of school and now is being homeschooled.
We got back together and he pushed me away. I cheated on him cheated for the first time physically and felt like absolute shit so the next day I told Ethan about it all and he claimed himself for it. About a month ago we got back together and everything was going okay. He was ignoring me like always but I didn't care anymore. I just wanted him to be mine....