Two Boys

viii

boy 2

I looked up and down the hallway. I could hear the distant cries of babies from the maternity ward, and it wasn't helping. All I could see where grave faced people, sad that their loved ones were slipping from the grips. There were grown men and women crying, as doctors delivered them the terrible news. I'd hate to be a doctor. I looked at the numbers donning the top of each door and when I saw the number 43 on a sign protruding from the wall I started towards it, my bottom lip quivering.

I looked in through the small rectangular window. Mum caught my eye and beckoned for me to come in. I didn't want to, I knew that seeing Alex laying there with a million tubes sticking out of him would be too much for me. I shook my head, and shied away from her understanding look. I took a seat outside the door. Sobs racked my body and I wished it could all be over. I then felt a surge of anger towards mum. She made me. She bought me into this world, and all my life had been was terror and travesty. Acting on impulse I shoved the door open and entered valiantly. The two women sat, each holding a hand of Alex's, and they glanced at me. I saw a doctor in the corner, reading, or that's what it sounded like, in a mechanic voice from a clipboard.

"He has about three weeks to live. Unfortunately, his cancer is rare and he's been living with this recurrence for about three months undetected. If we had of known we could've saved him." The elderly lady finished.

"Could have?! Why can't you now?! Try something, anything!!" I screamed. I wanted to rip my hair out, to punch someone. Anger coursed through my body. My body shook. I wanted to die. To be gone. The doctor gave me a look, not one of anger, but one of understanding.

"It's too late, honey." She said, trying to be gentle.

"Don't you dare call me honey!" I spat. My chest rose and fell rapidly. I couldn't do this. She didn't understand. Then, at my words, she looked wrong footed. She gave me a curt nod, and ducked out of the room. I looked over at Alex. His face was settled, he looked peaceful. He was a strange colour, almost blue.

"I saved his life yesterday because I knew what it felt like to have a car rammed into your body. Only for me, it was because I'm gay, not because I was looking for five dollars. I saved his life, but not because I wanted to. If I had of known he was dying anyway, I would've left him to it. It's stupid! I didn't know you could fall in love in a day, but it happened. And now I love a boy that's practically already dead. He's gone already. Face it, he's not waking up. They say he has three weeks to live, but he's not gonna make it. He's on life support for fucks sake! He's dead already! Just, don't hold onto any hope, you don't know what it feels like to be dying. Just stop caring  about him, because it's worthless. He's already gone. I love him and he's gone." I knew that what I was saying was true, but that didn't stop it from hurting me to the point of no return. Mine and Alex's mum's expressions were stony faced, like they knew this.

"I love you too." Alex said.

a/n: fml