Two Boys

x 🥀

boy 2

"Don't." I said, tears falling down my face rapidly. I knew what it felt to hurt this much, but it hadn't hurt this way for ages. A doctor popped in and looked to his mum for permission. Mum held my hand. I held one of Alex's. Mum held the same one. Alex's mum held the other and somehow we all ended up holding hands anyway. I let my feet relax underneath me and the last sound I heard come from anyone's mouth was the doctor counting down from five.

A beep filled the room, and one last breath escaped from Alex's lips. The lips I'd kissed only twice. There could have been so much more. But he insisted on going. And I mean, that's what made him happiest, so that's what we let him do.

//

Two days later at Alex's funeral, his mum approached me. She extended her hand.

"I'm Alessia, kind of like Alex." She said. I took her hand and smiled, the only smiling I'd do all day. I could feel the eulogy in my pocket, the one I'd scribbled down just an hour earlier. I looked over at his casket, and open one. Alessia and I walked over. I fumbled around in my other pocket. What I hadn't told anyone, was the day he'd come over, he'd left that five dollar note on my bed. I showed to to Alessia. She smiled and gave me silent permission to put in next to him. I wedged it in his hand, between his fore and middle finger.

Pictures were taken, tears were shed and before I knew it, I was standing at the podium and unfolding my piece of paper. I had hand written it, and I could see that half of my writing was smudged from my tears hitting the ink.

Lord.

I adjusted the microphone to fit my height and I introduced myself.

"I'm William. William Rose Ornton, Alex's boyfriend. Well, former one. That's the way I introduced myself to Alex when I met him four days ago, minus the last part, mind you. I began writing this eulogy this morning. I finished it this morning. Last minute, I know. Well, here goes."

"When I pushed Alex into a bush I had no idea I would fall in love with him. I pushed him into the bush and out of the way of the car because it reminded me of when my dad tried to intentionally run me over when he found out I was gay. People have asked me if I had of know he was dying if I still would've pushed him. The answer is yes. Because, I've had a shitty past and even though he was dying I wasn't going to not let him finish living his life. I've experienced more violence in my life than anyone needs to ever. I've been in hospitals about ten billion times before, I've been on the edge of death. I know it feels shit. I think everyone deserves to live any chance they get. Even though I only preserved his life by a day, or possible shortened it by even longer by slightly injuring him when I threw him into a bush, I still saved him. Wether or not you say I saved him from life or death, that's your choice. People have also asked me if I wish I had of let him die and lived without the emotional obligation, and then answer to that is no. Because I don't regret meeting Alex Joseph Edwards one bit. I loved him, and I still do, even if he's now dead. Five dollars bonded us, but the way I loved him was worth so much more than that."

"Because he understood me, even though he never really knew me. I wish he did."

"I really wish he did."

a/n: and that's a wrap