Gajevy Week!

Feb 19th: Grief

     Gajeel nervously stands outside the infirmary door, unable to wipe the grin off of his face. Lily sits on a bar stool with his arms crossed and a proud smirk on his face. "Your face will get stuck like that, and then nobody will be able to recognize you," he jokes.

     Gajeel can't be bothered to care. He sighs and paces by the bar. "I can't help it, Lily-" he stops and turns to face his best friend- "I'm gonna be a father. I'm gonna be a dad! Oh, those kids, I haven't even met them yet, but I can't wait! They're gonna the most spoiled little brats-but nice brats, nice brats-they're gonna have all the pet kitties their tiny hearts desire!" Gajeel stops himself just short of spinning on one foot. All his life, he wanted to be a father just as good as Metalicana was. Now, he's finally getting the chance, and he's not going to mess it up.

     Mira can't help but smile as she gives Gray his smoothie. She leans against the table and holds the tray close to her chest. "Isn't he just adorable, pacing around like that? Gajeel's gonna be a great father, I know it."

     Gray snorts. "He's gonna be climbing the walls if he doesn't get in there soon," he says before sipping his cold drink. Juvia rolls her eyes at him and steals a sip of her own.

     "He and Levy deserve adorable children, after all they've gone through. Besides, look how happy he is. He's like a little puppy," Lucy smiles.

     Natsu crosses his arms. "Looks dumb to me," he says proudly. Lucy hits his head and he immediately apologizes.

     "I can't wait to put them in their little clothes, and give them their bottles, and put them in their cribs and teach them to talk-"

     "And change their diapers," Lily smirks. Gajeel shakes his head and continues to babble.

     The infirmary door opens, and Porlyusica slowly walks out. Gajeel races to her side and asks to see his wife, but she merely shakes her head at him. "Have a seat," she says quietly. Lily immediately gives up his stool, and Gajeel cautiously sits down on it. Porlyusica takes in a deep breath and sighs. "Gajeel, the twins made it. Healthy, no issues...but Levy passed away during birth."

     Gajeel's jaw drops. He can feel his heart shatter. Hot tears blur his vision, but he can't be bothered to wipe them away. Gajeel lets his head fall and he begins to cry. He thinks someone's hugging him, and that faraway, a soft voice is speaking. Not that it matters, though. Gajeel feels the world spinning, and he's finding it hard to breathe. He tries to inhale, but he's not sure if he did it or not. His throat is getting tight, he clenches his teeth together, and he can't see straight. His world is collapsing in upon itself, and the weight makes him fall the ground.

...

     Gajeel wakes up several hours later. He blinks his eyes repeatedly, and once his vision clears he can tell he's in an infirmary room. Two wooden cribs stand beside his bed; one has a pink bow, the other has a blue bow. Gajeel's heart begins to hurt again, and as tears fall from his eyes he pulls off the white blankets. He takes the IV from his arm and removes several other monitor cords that are strapped to his body. With shaky feet, he goes to see his children.

     An angelic baby with light blue hair lays in each crib. His little girl sleeps with her fist against her cheek, while his little boy is sprawled like a starfish. Gajeel snorts and wipes away his tears. "You can't see yer old man cryin' the first time ya see him, can you?" he whispers to them. The children squirm a little bit, but they don't wake up.

     The infirmary door slowly opens, and Wendy's head pokes through the small opening. "Good to see that you're awake," she says with a small smile. Gajeel nods and looks back at the cribs. Wendy quietly closes the door and walks over. She stands at his side, noting that she's only a bit taller than his elbow. "Physically, are you alright?"

     "Yeah," Gajeel responds without looking at her. He's busy studying the features of his new children. They have his dark skin, and unfortunately it appears that they have his scowl, too. But everything else about them makes him feel choked up. They only have small tufts of hair, but it's as bright a blue as their mother's. They have her tiny size, but Gajeel doesn't know whose eyes they have yet.

     Gajeel feels his knees go weak again, so he quickly sits back down on the bed. He calms his breathing and tries to blink back tears. He feels a tiny hand rest on his, and against all odds, his heart can't help but hope for a second that it's Levy's hand. But his mind knows the truth, he knows it's only Wendy. He turns to look at her. "Yeah?"

     Wendy purses her lips, deciding of what to say. She takes in a breath, pauses, and exhales. A moment later she begins to speak again. "I know that you're sad; you have every right to be. But just remember that we're all here to help you. And, you may not have Levy with you, physically, but I know she'll stay in your heart. And she gave you two beautiful gifts," she turns to look at the cribs.

     "Thanks, Wendy. I mean it, I just...I can't be happy right now," Gajeel clenches his jaw.

     "Nobody expects you to be. I'm just saying that while your life is very dark right now and that there's lots of bad, there's also lots of light. Those twins are the center of your universe now, and I know that they'll help you heal. It'll take time, but Levy left you the best possible two things you could ever have. Babies," Wendy smiles.

     Gajeel rests his head on Wendy's head, clenching his jaw. He tries to focus on Wendy's words. He knows that they're true, but it doesn't make him feel much better. Gajeel is thrilled to have children, but at what cost? He lost his wife, his soulmate, his everything. Without her, he feels half empty. She was his better half, and now that she's gone, what is he supposed to do? The twins won't have a mother to bake them cookies for school parties, to knit them ugly sweaters that she poured her heart and soul into; they won't have a mother to give them 'boo-boo kisses' or read them bedtime stories.

     Thinking about it all becomes too much for Gajeel. He can't help but begin to cry again, so he buries his face in his hands. He sobs and wipes away his tears, frustrated that he didn't try harder to convince Levy to just get a c-section. That was the worst pain of all; they could've completely avoided this, but she was stubborn and wanted a natural birth, just like everyone else. Gajeel continues to break down and feel the guilt weigh on him like a ton of bricks. He feels Wendy wrap her arms around his chest and rest her head on his shoulder. "Cry it out, Gajeel. Cry it out."  

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Sorry if that was awful, I never write grief so this was a real step outside of my comfort zone. Please feel free to give me feedback so I can improve, thank you! :)

I know I missed yesterday's prompt, I might post it later today if I have time. That probably won't happen though, because I have a huge project for school that I have to do today and probably tomorrow, so if that prompt doesn't get published please don't be surprised.

-Hannah Banana