BEROYALED

THE LETTER TO LUCAS

I HAVE REALIZED ONE THING by myself. Since my eighteenth birthday, there wasn't anything particular in my head. Or maybe there was but I was minding the wrong things. He sent me two letters already but I hadn't thought of him that much. I was frightened. Perhaps that's why I didn't want to be reminded so subconsciously, I avoided thoughts about him.

Lucas. The first time I let myself remember. He's unexpectedly warm the more I think about him despite knowing too little. Aside from my brother, I never told anyone his name. Was it him with the mask himself? Does he follow me around everywhere himself? I should have been thinking of thoughts of these kinds.

So why didn't I?

I wasn't curious. I was just frightened and I felt useless. Ironically, I also feel like I'm being used. His majesty has never been this busy or agitated. The Crown Prince is still young and Ma is helping him with the basics of running the country. I'm the only one who doesn't play an important role in the family. As if in a deck of cards, the Joker is never needed but it has to be in the deck anyway.

I spent the night looking at the ring in my room letting the moonlight go through it. The moon fit perfectly in the ring. For the first time ever I paid all of my attention to it and everything that has happened since. What would happen if my assumption was correct? Even the evidences I had were just assumptions as well. I haven't seen Jeremy since I made his nose bleed but Gail told me he saw him downtown that day after school. She was on her way to her work when she saw him looking like he just got into a fight. He skipped school the next day.

Would it be a good thing if one of them indeed is Lucas? I should know by tomorrow. It's the reason why all of a sudden I was looking at the ring earnestly—making good dreams hard to catch. Thoughtlessly, I grabbed a paper and a pen and started writing.

Lucas,

There must be several things that I want to rant to you but I guess there's too many not one could come up in my mind. I don't know exactly why I am even writing to you when I'm sure this letter will not reach your hands. I don't intend so. But even if I had the intention to reach you, I wouldn't know how. I can't even hate you as much as I want. How could I? Except for your name, I don't even know anything about you.

I'm just pretending like I'm actually talking to someone. So I could at least let some things out of my mind while I could still use it. I've never been this out of focus in my whole life. I almost failed to turn in my homework. Although Gail said I wasn't lazing out after all but I was unproductive for several days and it's all because of you. I really hate being unproductive so right now I hate myself most.

You wouldn't even know how hard I've been working to live this kind of life.

Princess Andrea

It had to be that night right away but Jane and Maria were already in their quarters. I don't want any of the guards to come with me—especially Simon—but I'll never get out of the Palace without any chaperone. There was only one person that could help me.

Gramp's room was the old Grand Master's bedroom. It used to be the King and Queen's quarters but since the new building was finished, it became the Grand Master's bedroom and Gramps got to stay and avoided the hassle of moving out to make way to the new King and Queen. It worked out well that way for Gramps. Ma and Pa lived across at the new building where all of the official matters of the nation are being held. It's the same building where my birthday ball was held. Gramps, Frederick and I have the old building for ourselves.