The Professor

Chapter 24- The Professor

Chapter 24

Both me and Bryant sit at the table in his kitchen, drinking tea. Everything is racing through my mind, like how will I start? How will I end?

"Listen Clarence, if you don't want to tell me, you don't have to." He states, reaching for my hand over the table. "I don't want to force you to tell me anything you don't want to."

"No I want to." I say.

After thinking everything through my mind, I drink my tea and set it down on the table. Only Grace knows and now Bryant will. Telling Bryant about what happened in my past, really tells me a lot about how much I trust him. So here it goes.

"When I was eight years old, my mother died in a head on collision. She was thrown through the window shield, dying instantly. All she was doing was just going to pick up a birthday present for me, that's what my father had told me that morning when I woke up and she was gone."

"A semi ran a red light because he was apparently 'running late for a store drop-off'. Well there my mom was in a little Honda Fit, driving through a green light. The semi hot my mothers car, which flipped over many, many times as the people saw."

"The hospital couldn't do anything because she was already dead, the paramedics just though they could magically bring her back to life even though she was already dead on the spot."

"Now my father and mother were so in love with each other, they did everything together and when I said everything, I meant everything. They went to the store, the neighbors house, they even followed each other around the house because they couldn't stand not being together."

"But my father was still sleeping when she had went, she had just left a note by the nightstand in their bedroom. She just didn't want to wake him up."

"So when my father found out what had happened, he blamed me for my mothers death. He went into a depressed state, and obviously I did too but I was just a little kid, I didn't really understand what had happened."

"After a few weeks of my mothers death, my father stayed in his room, he drank and became an alcoholic, he even tried killing himself because of it."

"Everyday I heard 'it's your fault she's dead'. All she was doing was just getting me a birthday present, who knew that that would've happened. Did I mention that she died on my birthday? That's even more shitty to think about. Also, when I started growing up and when he would tell me that it was my fault, I wouldn't listen to him because I know it wasn't my fault and anything can happen in life. So I never really blame myself sometimes, but I do once in a while."

"But so then a few months past, my father drank every night and he became a compete and utter drunk. He started beating me, so then I started to always have bruises over my body."

"The teachers were always asking me how I got them and I just shrugged my shoulders. It got even worse when they called a child's social worker on my dad at the school, he started beating me even more after that."

"I don't quite remember anything after that, I only remember him beating me when I was little, there were no more happy times with my father, it was only pain."

"So then a life savior came along in my life which was Grace, she helped me through the hard times. When he would beat me, I ran to Grace's house in the middle of the night because she was the only one who knew about my father abusing me."

"My relationships never lasted with guys because my father would make them run off, scared as hell. So I never had the experience with anyone because of my father."

"The day I graduated, I left. I had my bags packed already, I took all the money my mother had left me in MY savings so I could make it through life and pay for college. I didn't tell my father I left, I just left right after I graduated."

"Plus he was highly intoxicated, he didn't even come to my graduation so what would've been the point of having him there or telling him. I didn't talk to him until the day after I left Florida, which was the day I met you."

"When I left, I could finally breathe. It was the best thing that had ever happened to me, besides you."

I then realize that I'm bawling my eyes out, Bryant comes over to me, bring his chair with him so that he's closer to me. "Clarence, I'm-" i interrupt him.

"Wait, i-im not finished." I say wiping tears from my eyes, I take both of his hands and squeeze them.

"When I met you, my life drastically changed in so many ways, you made me forget about everything in the past. I only thought about it when my father would call me or try to get a hold of me. But when I'm with you, all that goes away and I'm finally happy."

"I go to sleep thinking of you. I wake up thinking of you. Whatever I do, I think of you. I just can't seem to get you out of my goddamned mind."

"And thinking about it now, I cannot tell you how much I am completely and helplessly in love with you."

Those were the words I have been trying to say for months, ever since I met him and I finally just did.