three days

five

i don't remember feeling so depressed. the sunlight shining through my bedroom window made me hiss in annoyance. why am i even alive? beginning to sit up, my body aches, telling me to stay put in bed. taking it slower, i ease myself up, a girl needs to pee.

walking to my bathroom if i'm eighty years old, i let myself release. how could he do that to me? is he even right in the mind? of course fucking not if he would consider doing that to someone, let alone me. my eyes begin to swell, my throat closing up, for the millionth time, zelly.

i sob quietly, my knees giving out, falling to my bathrooms floor. i keep my facet running so he can't hear my pathetic sobs, i can only hope that he doesn't beat me for it. my stomach growled, i can't go downstairs, i can't go anywhere. my eyes struggled to stay open from how tired, and torn up i was from last night. i held myself, knowing no one else would.

you're alone, with a sick bastard of a rapist, and you don't know what's happened to chris. or if the rapist is going to leave just like he did. i sigh, hoping he would. chris was here for three nights until he disappeared so suddenly... maybe it'll be like that with ian. staring up at the ceiling of my bedroom, i shuffle to my door, locking it.

as well as barricading it with items inside my room. looking down at my bloody sheets, an unwelcome thought comes to mind. stop it. i rip off the sheets from my bed, throwing them in a corner. the white bed just simple, as nice of a day it was outside.

my soul could tell me otherwise. what else could i do? all i'm doing is dwelling. that's all i'll ever do. using some strength to go on my balcony, the view was breath taking.

the blue ocean clashing from the back of the palace, the front was grand and modern. the back was tropical and free; it was so beautiful that it almost made me forget the worries, the painful memories, and the monster downstairs.

smelling the salty ocean air, when will i escape? will i ever make it out of this place alive? and how many more times will i get a rapist as an accompaniment in this mansion? there was more than enough questions in my mind right now, haunting my health and mentality rate. i hear footsteps near my door, widening my eyes, i quickly close my balcony doors.

i'm unable to lock them from the inside, but i can hide out here. even with the blockade i was afraid, i hear him banging on my door, seeing the doorknob fiddling.

"let me in you slut wrenched bitch!"

he shouts angrily, i shake again in fear, the memories renewing. stop it.

"you know you want me!"

i can hear his shouting turn to loud slurring, he must have gotten in our alcohol cellar. he finally stops his obnoxious banging, i wait for a few minutes, standing up from my crouching spot. i open the balcony doors again, hearing his feet walking away, my heart beat softens. thank god. clash!

i jump in fright, falling on my behind, there's the sound of broken glass in my hallway. a bit far from my bedroom, but close enough.

"fuck!"

he shouts, the glass shards are being kicked around. my heart jumps write back into the beat it was before. i run to my bathroom again, feeling depressed and empty. why was i so weak? why didn't he stop?

why couldn't i fight back harder? where was chris? what the fuck is even happening to me? i overthink again, letting myself hysterically cry. my eyes burned from all the amount of salty tears i've shed for these past few hours.

no sleep, no comfort, no safeness. i'm hit with a pang of no motivation for anything, besides dying. stripping my clothes off, i get into my shower. the beads of water hit my bruised sides, and beat up face. closing my eyes, i hiss in pain, good fuck that hurts.

opening my sore eyes, i look down, seeing a bloody trail of misery. the red never stopped flowing down my inner thighs, down my calves, and onto my feet. it was all over, i blinked, looking at my hands. my hands were covered in it, the metallic smell causes me to gag in disgust. feeling light headed, i hold myself up on one of the metal bars on the wall.

why did this all happen? what did i do to deserve such a fucked up experience? for gods sake i don't even know how i got here! seeing the water go clearer gradually, i stand in silence. the suffering of last night's events climbing back up, while my eyes dropped anguished.