I Can't Love You

"You're eyes can't ever compare to a sunset; not even this one."

"Max, my eyes are brown. The closest resemblance I can find to my eyes is the wet sand: dark and gross."

"Seriously, Josh?"

"What? It's true!"

"No, it's not. Everything about you is perfect, and you just don't see it, do you?"

"I don't. I'm not like you, 'With your eyes that are like the water/your hair like the threads of gold that hit the sea; You are an ocean. My ocean'"

"Wow. Quoting your own poem... I like it. See! That right there."

"What?"

"Your laugh. It's amazing. Complete perfection."

"Nothing about me is perfect, Max."

"Oh, you're just saying that because you don't believe anything can be perfect. Besides me, of course. Right? Look, there's that laugh again."

"Oh, shut it."

"I honestly can't comprehend how you don't see that you're perfect."

"Pfft."

"No, really."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Fine, then list some of my 'perfect' qualities."

"Okay, I accept this challenge, if you can even call it that. Can you call it a challenge if it isn't hard?"

"Just list already."

"There's that-"

"If you're about to say something about my chuckle-"

"Easy, tiger. Okay, so there's your hair. Your eyes, also, if I may add, you look adorable when you wear your glasses. Also your lips; they're amazing. Then, your arms. Your body-"

"Ha! That's the funniest thing I've heard all day. My body? I'm literally a stick. You have the nice body, it's like a god. But anyway, I get it."

"Really? Do you?"

"Yes. I'm perfect, blah blah blah."

"Finally, after four years you get it! And I know I joke sometimes that you don't believe in perfection, but you really are. And it's not just physical. I love your creativeness, I love the way you view things, I love your personality. I love you."

"Thanks. And being here for me. Well, for everything, really."

"You're welcome, my fine sir. Now, if you don't mind, I would like to go for a dip. Mind to join me?"

"Oh, yes, of course. What a fine gentleman, you are."

"Yes, thank you. Would you mind if I make a comment?"

"Oh, please do."

"You have very nice grey, batman boxers. They look a little tight, I may say. And if I may add, they look quite hot-"

"Oh, please do shut up, bitch. Oh! Excuse my language, sir."

"There is no excuse for that type of language. You have to be punished, Mr. Joshua Williams."

"And how do you plan on doing that?"

"Let me show you..."

"You know, your kisses are more heavenly, and not much of a punish-"

"Ha ha! Take that sucker!"

"You, bitch! The water is freezing!"

"Well don't run out! Actually never mind. It makes those boxers look much more-"