Body Heat

7 | drink me

{sasuke}

He'd wanted to hash out everything then and there but Naruto had seemingly shut down. His gaze was glazed over and vacant, his expressions either lazy or blank. Naruto had stopped processing. Or he had started processing fifteen years of bitter thoughts about Sasuke and promptly gone into overdrive and burnt out.

Sasuke hoped it was the latter. Whichever it was Sasuke had had no clue how to go further other than ask awkward questions with obvious answers and make unnecessary comments.

"How many roommates do you have?"

"Just the one."

"Where is she?"

"Volunteering."

"Nice dog."

"Kurama is mostly friendly."

"Are you--"

"Sorry, I'm really tired. I'm just gonna go to bed. You can take Sakura's room if you'd like. She won't be home until noon." Offering him Sakura's room for the night.

Sasuke remembered his immediate relief at the fact that the two had separate bedrooms. He hadn't realised how much the question of their relationship had been niggling at him. Knowing that Naruto was not in any kind of romantic relationship with the pink-haired woman had put him to momentary ease.

Sasuke had refused to stay, though. For starters, he wouldn't be able to sleep knowing Naruto was in the very next room. He also still had plenty of work to do. And lastly, and most importantly, Itachi would be a nuisance if he found out what Sasuke had been up to.

Naruto's unusually subdued and unresponsive behaviour had him concerned but he figured, more so hoped, all the man needed was some space and time to think.Though, he knew they would still have to sit down and talk things out. It was clear to him that Naruto hadn't ever forgotten him, simply avoided him because he thought...

Goddamnit, he thought I'd used him.

Sasuke stopped writing his notes and grabbed at his head. Letting his forehead touch the desk.

It hadn't even been a conscious decision on his part to hug Naruto and hold onto him for hours after apologising. It hadn't even been a complete thought. It had just transpired between them on its own. An instinctual reaction.

Sasuke felt heat burn under the skin of his face. But the blond man had let him. And if there was one thing he could say about last night that wasn't pointing towards something worrying then it was that the boy seemed to welcome his touch. And that was enough to hold on to, for now.

When he's set out to pursue Naruto as a romantic interest it hadn't occurred to him that he'd have to fight fifteen years of misconceptions birthed in the mind of a five-year-old. Ideas that had probably only gotten stronger and more mangled with time.

Sasuke couldn't believe that he'd been sitting around, thinking of the blond as a symbol of hope, hoping to have finally found someone that didn't know what he'd done and hence would allow him the opportunity to get close. Sasuke had been pretty pleased to find that the blond didn't know who he was. He had hoped to make a better impression on the man once he got the chance. Except that his chance at a first impression had come and gone fifteen years ago and the outcome was that Naruto was very unimpressed.

Damnit! I fucked up before I had anything to fuck up. He smacked his head against the desk a few times, hoping to rid himself of the turmoil he was entirely unfamiliar with. I fucked up school, family, friends. And now this one thread of hope that I fucked up before I even knew there was something to fuck up. The realisation sent him flying up from his seat. He left the study, a frown marring his features.