Title in Progress

Entry #1

It's become a daily chore to lock myself in the bathrooms at school. Today, I did so at 8:23am. This is the earliest I've done it. Normally, I do it just because I don't want to be in class or because I've had a rough day. This time, I didn't have an actual reason. I just did it.

At my school, you have four classes per day. One through four on "black" days and five through eight on "gold" days. Today is a gold day, meaning I have math first hour. Math isn't my favorite subject and I'm sure plenty of other people can relate. Anyway, We have to do these partner activities and, if you know me, I don't want anything to do with anyone at my school. We got our textbooks and sat at our tables with our partners and started to work. Now, I had stayed up till 1:30 in the morning so I was in no shape to talk to anyone or do any work. The teacher simply told me I had to get up and move and something just clicked. I got up, walked to the door and said "I'm going to the office, see you later--" and did.. almost exactly that.

Instead of going to the office, I walked right by and went to the gender neutral bathroom because it's the only bathroom with a lock on it (that and it's a lot more clean too). I sat down across from the door for a good couple of minutes just checking things on my phone to calm myself down when one of the teachers knocked on the door.

"Are you okay?"

"Yep.."

"Do you need me to get a teacher?"

"No."

And so she went away. After that, I'm pretty sure she went to go get the Freshman/Sophomore councilor because she was the next person to come knocking on the door. She asked me if I would go to her office to talk and be in a more comfortable place than a bathroom. So I unlocked the door and we went to her office. It was going fine for the first minute we got there but she asked me what was wrong and I just.. had a panic attack. I realized that I'm having more and more of these recently and I really don't know why. It went from every other month to every other week and it's a little worrisome.

Aside from this, I'm going to be writing a little something every now and then. The next entry could be funny or sad.. either way, it's something for you to read and something to keep me calm.

-Tobias(02-20-17)