Title in Progress

Entry #2

When I wake up in the mornings, I want to go back to sleep. It's not because I'm tired but instead it's more of the fact that I'd rather not deal with the day. I'd rather not go to school, talk to people, learn things that won't help me in the future. This is a feeling I deal with just about everyday, some days it's worse than others.. I'm an introvert, yes, but this isn't how most introverts feel. This is how most depressed introverts  feel. That's a problem. 

NOTE: I am not saying this for attention, I am saying this so I can express my views from personal experiences. It's for science, man. 

I was actually diagnosed with depression around August of 2016. They gave me Escitalopram 10mg then 20mg. I took about two months worth of it then stopped because, unfortunately, it was making me more depressed and actually made my anxiety worse. 

I had done my research over Escitalopram and the third fact about it was that it could increase suicidal thoughts and all that jazz. It also said that some other side affects could include: trouble sleeping, tiredness, nausea, and headaches. Which I had experienced all of them in the two months that I had taken them. After I stopped taking them, I noticed an improvement of myself. I was a lot happier, less tired, I enjoyed things like sports and reading a lot more than before. 

But then.. 

A few months later, Things started to get worse (mentally). As I said before, my panic attacks became more frequent. I haven't had any suicidal thoughts, I mean I never really had any in the first place. Nope, nope, I just had a lack of motivation. Anyway, this lack of motivation came back and affected  me more. It was at the point to where I only left my bed to use the bathroom. I didn't even leave to go get food because I didn't feel like eating and there wasn't any energy to do so. At this point, I completely gave up on life and just wanted to lay in my bed forever. 

With a little time and help from friends, I eventually started to eat three (small) meals everyday, I did things around my house, and generally did things that made me happy. And then--

I fell in love. 

-Tobias  (02-21-17)