Moving On | Percy x Artemis

two

P E R C Y 

I am lost. My mind is sore from memories. One minute my head is storming, anger, pain, so many thoughts of what I could've done, so many terrifying pictures swirling. The next minute I am consumed by silence, the static of it loud in my ears. 

For years it was like I couldn't imagine life without her by my side. She was my one constant in a world full of insanities. Some days I thought I was getting better, I thought maybe I could one day feel normal again. But then something so tiny like the detail of a building or the smell of fresh coffee would remind me of her and suddenly I would be drowning again. 

"Peter?" The voice snaps me away from my thoughts. "You okay?" 

I smile at the lady in front of me. "I'm sorry Mrs. Ells, what was your order again?" 

Mrs. Ells repeats her order. I am a million miles away as I scrawl down her words. I am back there again, the darkness surrounding us. Tartarus' laugh echoing around us. Her eyes are so full of fear and pain and I am helpless. 

I stumble backwards, knocking over a chair behind me. My hand instinctively reaches for the gold pen inside my pocket. I feel my anger rising up inside me like a tidal wave, I need to kill for her, I need to revenge her death. 

I shake my head, trying to dislodge the memories. Then I am in the cafe again, an apron around my neck. 

Mrs. Ells' concerned face swims into view. "Peter? Really, are you alright? You're acting strange." 

I nod, my words come out shakily. "I'm sorry, I'm just...tired." 

She doesn't seem to buy it completely but she sits back down at her table as I walk back behind the counter. I hand Mrs. Ells' order to Angelica who swiftly begins to prepare the coffee. I suddenly feel like I'm going to suffocate. 

The cafe is quiet during this time of day, too late for breakfast, too early for lunch. I escape out the back door and lean against the wall outside. My hands tighten into fists. I want to scream. I want to punch something until my knuckles bleed. I want to save her but it's too late now. 

I am alone in this huge world. I won't go back to camp, no matter what. Every town is the same, every job only slightly different. But I just know the minute I go back to it all, the gods and the wars and the insanity, I will kill someone. 

That world took Annabeth away from me so I took myself away from them. And if they need me, they won't be able to find me. I never stay long in one place, I am never called by the same name. I am always running, and it's the only way to keep myself from going crazy. 

I take a deep breath and I step away from the cafe wall. I think I will leave again. I won't say goodbye, I never do. I will just pack my things and be gone in the morning. 

Where will I go? I don't know. I will walk until I find another town, or until someone with a heart picks me up off the side of the road, or until the sun scorches every last drop of water out of me and I die. I wouldn't mind dying, at least Annabeth would be there. 

I untie the apron and drop it onto the dusty ground. I've had enough of this place, it's time to move on before the memories burn through me. 

I just miss her so much. 

I miss her so much. 

But I have this crazy idea that if I go far enough, and lose myself by becoming so many different people that Percy Jackson no longer exists, then I may be able to one day move on. Because on good days I realise that moving on is exactly what Annabeth would want me to do. 

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author's note

this chapter was not my best work, i'll admit, but i have great plans for this story. :) 

please vote and comment, it really means a lot to me when you do. 

xoxo