Fake smiles always work for me. Even when they look genuine they never are. Even when they aren't even recognizable as a smile... people still believe me when I say "I'm fine". The word fine had lost its meaning. When I say it's never true.
People always say they want to learn how to read minds, but if you could read mine you would be in tears. My mind is pure chaos and distraction. It feels like I'm stuck on a merry go round in hell. I just want to get off but if I do the damage will be unthinkable. But maybe that what I have wanted all along. The way I see it is that life is like a game, you either win or die trying. In this case I am okay with the die trying option because that is better than being in my on hell that is my mind.
