Hopeless

Null

The last thing he remembered was trying to catch the ball. Papyrus was pitching, and hit particularly strong. The ball flew past third base and over outer field before he could blink. He ran for the ball with desperate puffs of air he omitted hitting his face. Then, as he reached for the ball (he was so close!), it was all black. A welcome change from the blurred vision and vomit inducing dizziness. What wasn't welcome was the first sight to greet him in consciousness was his baby brother's face wet with still flowing tears. He pushed through the pain engulfing his body to reach out and wipe the vile liquid from his brother’s cheeks. Never should have been there in the first place. His brother should never cry, ever, unless they're happy tears. These aren't happy tears, however, his brother’s seemingly permanent smile pulled down into a pained frown.

It nearly broke his soul to see his brother like this. So fearful and lost. He pulls his own frown into a careful smile, “h-hey bro”. His voice was raspy and underused but it was understandable. He didn't expect his brother to burst into another bout of tears. His own pain forgotten, he shoots up and takes both his brother’s hands, “bro, Pap, hey wh-what's wrong?” His brother pulls his hands away in favor of a careful hug, “y-your f-finally wake!”

This statement confused him, but he pushed it aside in favor of hugging his bro back until his crying turned into soft hiccups. “H-How long w-was I out?”

The silence that answered him was unnerving. “uh...p-pa-” “2 months…” Sans stills, “...as...a-as long as i-it wasn't 2 years, a-am an I right?” He winced, as if hit, when his brother pulls back and looks at him with an unamused look. “yeah, s-sorry...p-probably not the best time, h-huh?” The taller sighs at his brother, “no, it isn't. I'm serious, Sans I was...worried…” Sans teeth pulls into a tentative frown, “aw, P-Pap I'm...im ok, really.”

Unconvinced, his brother pulls away completely, “Sans…” His fatigue was catching up with him, as was the pain, and all he wanted to do was comfort his brother before he gave into sleep. His body reacts before his mind can process as he yanked his brother back and pulls him into a bear hug. He trembles as he holds back a yelp, his chest constricting painfully. He gulped down air to calm his frazzled nervous, “Bro, s-s-seriously...I-I'm fine” He could faintly hear his brother sigh and feel his arms wrap around him to hug back. “I know you're not...but that's ok, we can figure this out!” He trembles, his brother always was the more optimistic of the two, “heh y-you're so cool bro…” He didn't get to hear what Papyrus said, already sinking back into the black abyss of unconsciousness.

The next time he woke it was to pain and white. Too bright for his sensitive sockets. He screws his sockets shut again with a wince. Everything hurt, it was almost unbearable. He thought vaguely of what it would be like without the painkillers probably being pumped into his very soul. He slips one socket open to looks around as much as he could. His head still felt like it was stuffed with cotton but he could at least register the IV connected to his soul, the white sheets and white walls, too much white. A hospital room he realised. So when he and his brother… Papyrus! Where was papyrus! He looks around frantically, the only person in the room, disappointingly, was himself. He let's the tears flow freely. It was just too overwhelming. He couldn't understand what happened, or remember much, his mind a fuzzy mess.

He decided that figuring out the here and now was his first priority. So after some looking and using what he knew from his other senses he could figure he was in the ER for some reason. He couldn't feel much of anything except pain from his soul, so he was probably low on magic. No magic, nothing to keep his own bones together, so it wouldn't be wise to move around to much. He shut off the lights in his eyes tactfully, to save whatever magic reserves he has. His shirt was pulled up, showing exposed ribs, which he found himself heating up at his Zygomatics. What scared him the most though, was the silence. No wurs of machinery. No beating from the monitors. Not even the sound of his own breathing, or the magic pulsing through him. Nothing. Absolute silence. He wondered if this was what Gaster hears in the void.

…

He tried not to dwell on it. His soul jumps as his brother suddenly came into view. How long was he there?! It didn't matter. What mattered was the look of absolute heartbreak his brother had. He tried to say something, but heard nothing. He didn’t feel his magic comply with his teeth to form words. His brother’s face twisted into one of worry. No, he shouldn't make that face. He tried to move but couldn't, every attempt ending in pain and no result. He tried to speak, form any sound. Something to reassure his brother and break through the deafening silence. His mind and magic finally connected into a few words. Something around the lines of “It’s alright” but he felt nothing. He heard nothing. His brother looked downtrodden and so so lost. So sad.

He shouldn’t be sad. Finding nothing he could physically do, he did the one thing he's good at. He gave up. He let the feeling of absolute helplessness take him and he cried. Cries until he had no magic to waste on tears. No magic to move. No magic to speak.

His soul jumps up in his ribs when his brother wraps his arms around him and pulls him into an embrace. He felt his brother’s soul pulse with worried, scared magic. He tried his best to send him reassuring pulses, but the soul doesn't lie. He was honestly scared, so his soul projected this. His brother must of gotten the message. Pulling, back, he smiles a small, reassuring smile. He tried to smile back, but had no magic to spare. His soul projected his thankfulness at least, so his brother seemed pleased with himself. He carefully laid him back down in the hospital bed and pulled up the sheets.

He looks on helplessly as his brother looks down at him. He didn't want his pity. He didn't want to be like this...but he knew his brother was smart. He knew his brother would figure it out. With this in mind, he let himself slip into unconsciousness.