I don't know. I miss people that I shouldn't miss and I miss parts of people that I shouldn't miss. My biggest fear is being alone and for some reason... I feel so alone. I'm not lonely but I'm alone and that scares me. It's not that my friends don't talk to me, they do, it's just... I can't explain it.
I've barely eaten today. Just one potato cake and some string cheese. I mean I'm sick so that explains it but idk. I haven't been eating as much lately and I know for sure that's not because I'm sick. I tried in my band uniform today and it was loose and k could tell I've lost weight and it made me smile. I told my mom that's all I ate today but all she did was go back to talk to my sister about her life. God I can't wait to leave. Honestly I would leave now if I wasn't so fucking scared. I hate life lol.
