rose petals

I

~EARLY SUMMER~

Maybe it was the way I embraced it.

Maybe it was the tension building inside me, waiting anxiously to be let out.

Or maybe it was my way of expressing myself.

I didn't know how I started to have the mindset of a second class citizen, who was wealthy and a made good living. Me? Never. I'm barely over the edge of scouring my couches for any lose change. I only spend my money (most of the time) on important things like paying bills, groceries, and helping out family (the little I had left). Only every few months I go out shopping or eating out somewhere, where normal families would only stop to just to pick up food cause they're too lazy to cook or just don't have time to. Wow, I know this sounds sad but I've surprisingly adapted to this lifestyle. However, I wouldn't prefer it over a first class. With their expensive champagne and overpriced tiny meals...
Currently I'm riding a local bus to the mall. I've been doing my "going out only every few months" kind of deal lately. My guess its caused by all of the stress I have to deal with at work. Unfortunately I couldn't pay for college, so now I'm stuck bagging people's groceries at a supermarket every week day and working at a small cafe on weekends. And when I say stress, I mean STRESS! I'm the most clumsiest person EVER! I was trusted to carry out a over the brim bag filled entirely with scented candles to a lady's car, and slipped over a puddle, and the bag was sent flying over onto the street then shattering into pieces! To put the icing on the cake, I had to pay for it AND ruined my black Adidas shoes I got as a gift! UGH! I'd share more but the bus just pulled over to a stop sign across the street from the mall, and also cause my pride is scraping the earth's inner core.
Grabbing my cheap thrift-ed purse, I make my way to exit (entrance also) and tip the bus driver. "Thanks, sweetie." the driver says in a grateful tone. I look back and give her a friendly smile, then back at where I was going. Causally I step off the small set of stairs onto a sidewalk, taking a dip into the sunshine as the wind tosses my (h/l) (h/c) to the side. As I look off to my right, I see children running around a McDonald's parking lot and their (by my assumptions) parents conversing with one another. When I face forward I notice I'm not that far from the crosswalk.
Once I'm there, the light conveniently turns red and the cars stop. A group of pedestrians and I take our chance to cross the street and oddly, (being the first person to step onto the street) I'm in the back; separated from the group. Just as I was near the curb on the other side, a car comes speeding toward me. Suddenly my heart started pounding, who knew you could be enjoying the scenery one minute then be squashed on burning road the next. My stupid limbs wouldn't budge and I was stuck standing there. I was ready for death just as soon as the maroon convertible seized to a halt, with its tires creating a loud ear-tearing screech. Then my limbs awakened and I could finally move. Now that I was up close and personal to the vehicle, I could see a handful of guys (in their 20's or so) crammed in the seats. In an anxious voice, "Oh my gosh, I wasn't looking! I totally didn't see you there! Sorry..." says a boy with pastel pink hair. I didn't know how to react, everything just happened so fast! But I needed to act just as, "It's fine." I replied. Then, I did my first instinct. Ran away.