Sex Camp (18+)

Chapter 19- Clifton | Responsibility

Chapter 19: Responsibility

An empty stomach did not go well with a third glass of brandy. 

They were sitting at the back of their lodge, a place that had the color scheme a painter would do a double take with. Shades of earthy brown and faded green covered the expanse that was the back of their humble abode. 

Jonathan took a swig out of the bottle that he magically conjured out of his suitcase and Clifton raised his glass to his lips. He took the glass with him from the dining hall the first day of camp, because leaving a glass of water by your bed in case you get thirsty at night is always the responsible adulty thing to do. 

The sent of the strong liquor made its way up to his nose, but by now it didn't phase him. 

He manifested the image of a tombstone in his head and on it, he imagined it was decorated with weed and joints. Then, right in the middle, he would ask someone to finger paint - "Here lies Clifton Campbell, he made his own set of mistakes". 

He closed his eyes and and downed the glass, he let the liquid leave a trail of fire down his throat. He let himself feel that heat, let it encompass him because everything else about him...surrounding him... was cold. 

"So, are we going to talk or are we just going to finish my really expensive bottle of brandy?" Jonathan spoke up. 

Clifton didn't want tonight to be about him, so he decided to switch things around "Does Marie know you're whipped?"

Jonathan choked on his next sip of brandy and just as he painfully swallowed, he began cackling loud coughs. Clifton felt a slight laugh tingling on his lips, wanting to come out. He rubbed Jonathan's back and gave him a slight smile instead.

"How the - where the hell..." Jonathan sputtered out before calming down and looking straight into Clifton's eyes "Who the hell told you, if it was Banks, I swear I'm going to-"

"What, no!... I don't even know who Banks is dude, I just.... I don't know. I saw the way you looked at her" he frowned

After a moments silence, Jonathan looked like he was thinking about too many things all at once. "That obvious huh?" he whispered

"So, are we going to talk or are we just going to finish your really expensive bottle of brandy?" Clifton perked up 

A smirk made its away across Jonathan's mouth and he peeked at Clifton through the corner of his eyes "You're a dickhead"

"A dickhead that is willing to listen."

Jonathan took a deep inhale and blew out a hard breath before starting "We grew up together, I've known her for as long as my memories go back. We went to the same pre-schools and then onwards to the same high-schools. I've watched Marie grow up, Clif. I've seen her at her worst and I'll be damned if I haven't seen her at her best. I think.... I don't know, somewhere along the way of us telling each other everything, being each other's right hands and having our own little camaraderie - I fell for her. Holy fuck Clif, I fell so hard" 

Clifton felt the pain in his voice and the sadness pooled in his eyes, and he didn't know if it was the alcohol or the story but he could feel a deep pit being dug inside his stomach and all his emotions were filling in, trying to cover the emptiness. 

"I tried, I tried so hard getting over her. I started seeing this girl in Grade 6 who was amazing, but it worked because she reminded me of Marie. At the end, she chose my best friend anyway and I broke because I thought I could do nothing right. It hurt every time I saw her kiss another guy, and talk about the way other people made her feel amazing, when I was sitting right in front of her - finding ways to show her that maybe I'm worthy of making her feel that way too. So, come senior prom, and her date ditched.." he let out a hollow laugh as if he didn't understand how someone could possibly ditch his girl. "I cancelled on my date and took her instead, Marie thought I was doing her favor but anyway... we got wasted and I kissed her, and she kissed me back. I thought - God, I thought that she felt the same way that I had felt, still feel for years but then the next morning, she told me that she had this plan" 

Jonathan stopped to take a full swig of his brandy bottle and rubbed his lips together before he continued. "She said we could go to each other... make each other feel good in all ways except sex whenever we were down, she said it was because we always had each others backs" He then turned to look at Clifton and poured some more brandy into his glass before taking another swig from it. Looking up he whispered "So I torture myself nearly every day, because I want her, in more ways than one and I can never have her, I can never be enough for her"

Clifton felt the expanse swallow both of them after finishing the shot that Jonathan poured for him, he threw away the glass into the woods - hearing the shatter of the material brought him back to life. He took the bottle and downed another swig. Fuck responsibility. It does nothing for you. 

After handing the bottle back to Jonathan, he sighed into the breeze "Everything can get so messed up, so fast. And before you even have a chance to grab onto anything- you're pulled out from underneath your feet and then all you're really stuck with... is that mess" he realized some of his words were beginning to come out slurred as the weight of the alcohol hit him, and he turned to Jonathan who was know laughing mildly, letting his whole chest rumble. 

Clifton's lip rose but he didn't know what was so funny. 

Jonathan stopped laughing, looked at him and then began laughing again. Now, Clifton couldn't help himself, he joined in on the laughter feeling light for the first time this whole day. 

In between hiccups of laughter, Jonathan burst "Great advice Socrates, I should tell you my problems more often so you can give me more great lines like that one" 

"Piss off" he said, they were both starting to slur their words. In his head, Clifton thought about how they should probably get up before getting caught but that would be defeating the point of his recent declaration. 

So they both sat there, with the forest, the broken pieces of glass and their laughter to surround them. Clifton decided then that he would change the name on his tombstone, right in the middle, he would ask someone to finger paint - "Here lies Clifton Campbell, he didn't let his mistakes define him".

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Kitkat