What is the definition of Happiness?

7

(Mari's p.o.v. )

Sometimes when you see some one on the street or in a coffee house and you accidentally spill coffee on them you don't normally take them to your house, let them borrow clothes and shower, and then cry on them like you are their best friend since birth but that's what I did. I know that it doesn't exist, and if not then what is it, infatuation, interest, attraction, what is it! I mean I have dated about 2 people in my life and both relationships didn't work, the first because all he wanted was sex out of me, and the second didn't work because she was too clingy and was a prostitute. So yes I did think she was the most beautiful thing ever, and I just wanted to taste her sweet sugary lips, and run my finger over her beautiful skin, and play with her silky hair, but we were strangers and I knew better than to just start making out with someone so attractive. It may be just the most cliché thing ever, but it was like fate or something brought her to the same place as me, at the same time, on the same day, at just he right moment so I could grasp the little bit of happiness I have left and maybe just maybe have a glimpse of true happiness and love.

So today was the first day of school, and I was really excited because nobody in this school knew anything about me in the slightest so it just seemed all the more exciting since anything I said to them would and could be true. All seemed well and dandy until I saw this really large board and students were crowded around it so on instinct, I made my way over to the board, and saw what they were looking at..

Names and classes.

So as I scanned the bored I spotted my name about 8 times and saw the typical classes of English, Math, Reading, History, P.E., and so on, but then I spotted a name of a person that I hadn't seen since the incident with the cute coffee victim...

Dylan Porter.

For a moment I felt my heart jump and my breath stagger for seconds only to leave my brain and heart in confusion for what made me feel the twinge of happiness that came out of seeing another girls name that I may or may not have a teeny tiny crush on. Ha ok now don't get me wrong yes I do not know her very well at all and you could probably still call us strangers if you wanted to, and what I'm feeling is most likely nothing more than just infatuation for a short, cute, long haired girl that smells like green tea and oranges, but even so this strange girl was someone who sure left an impression on you. I know that it seems strange for a girl and a girl to fall in love or be in a romantic relationship at all, but the only reason it is strange is because we as people, human beings, created these rules among ourselves and society that we cannot be in sexual relationships with anyone of the same sex because the lord created man and woman to create his children of the earth and blah blah holy bible shit and stuff, pretty much the only real way to have any child whatsoever is with a dick entering a vagina. Who cares though that I might never be able to make anyone pregnant, it just means that there is more fun.

The end of the day came, and the last bell rang, and I could finally go home, but luck nor teachers were on my side and my science teacher asked me to deliver some papers for him to some of the other teachers, so reluctant to be lectured on the first day of school I just did what he asked. I had to deliver to 9 teachers upstairs and down stairs and finally I was at the last teachers room with a really large stack of papers for stuff ain't nobody care about, but oh well. I walked into the room and standing there was a really pretty girl that looked so familiar, so we waved to each other then seconds later it hit me like a brick and I dropped the papers before bolting down the hallways and out the doors before Dylan realized what had happened.

It had been maybe 20-30 minutes since the whole runaway incident, thank you horrible track coach for the never-ending days of running we did year round, and as I was about to start walking someone ran quickly past me. Chasing after them I ran at full speed looking like fucking Naruto with my arms flailing behind my back, before watching them do the most horrible fall I have ever seen. So I did my best to pull myself together and rushed over to help her up, now realizing it was a girl, I slowly wrapped my arms around her slender torso and picked her up the way you would a toddler then letting go so it wasn't awkward or anything. With my face bright red and my heart pounding like crazy I stood there waiting for her to turn around, which to my surprise when she did her face was bright red as well and it made me happy to get to see this cute, embarrassed side of her.

On the bus I stared out the window and started to wonder about how so many people can feel so happy and be fine with every decision they make and are able to accept any future that they happen to have in the future, but every indecisive decision I make is always something I regret in the near future and I have small amounts of happiness that keep close to me because its people and things that I care about like my siblings, my grandma, running, and the girl who possible stole my heart. When I finally get home, I unlock the door only to be greeted by the subtle smell of vanilla wafting from my bathroom, I then drop my bag, take off my sneakers, and walk to the kitchen for a coke, with the cool air hitting my face reminding of how much I like the fridge, I grab my cold drink and make my way over to the couch, I then turn on the song Blue Lips by Regina Spektor, and drop down on softness. As time passes I think to myself about the things that happened in the past frustrating me with the fact I keep reminding myself of why I'm so lonely and depressed, and the horrible thought of being rejected by Dylan hits me like a brick to the face. I start to tear up because then thoughts of not being able to get closer to her and have her like me just as much as I her, it makes me want to just give up on even trying on a girl a truly know nothing about.

After listening to the song three times, I finally get up off the now warm couch and make my way to the bathroom and turn on the shower, then walk to my room to grab an over-sized T-shirt, mint green striped underwear, and a black sports bra. I walk into the bathroom and put my clean clothes on the counter and wipe the steamy mirror only to be greeted by a depressed face staring right back at me making me feel horrible knowing that I am only like this because of things that are from my lingering past of horrible memories that I try so hard to forget. Turning around to finally cleanse myself of the small sweat I worked up from my chaotic first day of school, but I slipped on something and before being able to even catch myself, within seconds my head hurts, I see blood, and then it all goes black.

THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!!

CHAPTER OUT SOON!!!!