Book 1: It's Just Pretend

Chapter 3: A Year

Sunlight peeked through the window of my studio and gently kissed the painted canvas in front of me. I tucked a curl of fiery hair into my beanie, sighing in frustration as my inspiration slowly faded away. I leaned back in my chair and examined the sharp lines and edges on the canvas. Vivid streaks of red and blue- vibrant against a dark background- and in the center, what seemed to be a small boy dressed in white and gold. His face was soft and warm, a tiny smile of contentment spread across his lips. His face was clear, but the rest of him seemed to swirl and dissipate into the dark of the painting.

A quiet melody hummed from my speakers and spilled into the room. The beat was a dull, soft sound; it was practically white noise. Sighing, I looked away from the easel and took in my surroundings. Cabinets and shelves filled with various art supplies lined the room. There were large sinks decorated with wet brushes, water cups, and dirtied towels. Desks, easels, chairs, and stools were pushed up against the side wall, waiting to be used. A knock at the door drew my attention. Savannah was leaning on the doorframe.

"You all right there? Seemed like you were far away." Her accented voice was teasing, but her crinkled eyes were heavy with concern. Smiling gently, I replied, "I'm fine, thank you for asking."

She gave me a long, sad smile before crossing the room and taking my pale hand in hers, our skins deeply contrasting.

"Little One, you do not have to lie to me. I know not the pain of losing someone, but I know you are hurting and I know it is okay to ask for help. You have become like a fourth child to me." I leaned forward and embraced her, whispering a thank you as we pulled apart.

"It's been a year and a half. The pain of him being gone is getting better, but the fighting is getting worse and I just... " I ran my hands down my face in frustration. Sensing my need to change the subject, my old mentor gave me a grin.

"So," she began, "How has your French been coming along? Can we finally hold a conversation?" I cackled sarcastically.

"I think it's cute how you think I can French. I can barely English." She gave me a raspy chuckle and patted my leg.

"You better pack your things, Little One. I believe you have to work early tomorrow."

~~~

Soft sunlight oozed between the slits of the shutters and trickled into the silent house. I shoved a wrapped bagel and container of apple juice into my messenger bag. Adjusting the strap across my chest, I grabbed my bike and left. Four-thirty in the fucking morning and I had to bike an hour and a half to get to work. I could feel the bags drooping beneath my eyes. Wind whipped the stray curls of hair poking out from under my beanie and dried my eyes.

By the time I arrived at work, sweat gathered at the nape of my neck and lined my hairline. I locked my bike and stepped into the air conditioned heaven of the bakery. The smell of pastries and bread enveloped me.

"Cara?" I called as I walked past the kitchen and into the tiny backroom. Cara, the owner of the shop had set it up for employees to relax a bit if they needed to. I hung up my bag on the hooks by the door and tied an apron around myself, the nametag shimmered in the lights.

"Hey, Claire!" I followed the sound of her voice to the walk-in fridge on the other side of the kitchen. She stood perched on a stepstool, reaching for an impossibly high gallon of milk.

"Cara!" I ran forward and caught the jug before it hit the floor. Helping her down, I looked at her with wide eyes.

"Cara, you're more than seven months pregnant. You shouldn't be standing like that! You shouldn't even be at work!" I quickly inspected her for injuries. Her lively blue eyes sparkled as she laughed.

"Come now, Claire," she patted my hand and smiled, "I'm just fine. I have a business to run."

"My god! It's your first baby I would think you'd be more careful."

"Hey, I'm still in my twenties! I'm young and wild." I scoffed.

"You're reckless." She gave me a good-hearted laughed. Retying her brown hair into a short ponytail, she waddled out of the room. For the next hour or so, we prepared for the work day ahead and conversed.

"Savannah sends her love by the way," I spoke offhandedly, not looking up from what I was doing. I imagined Cara smiling.

"That's so sweet! I love that woman, she's so nice. She's real motherly, isn't she?" I smiled and nodded.

"Mmm. That's true." We puttered around, starting up new baked goods and making sure everything else was spotless.

Eight o'clock rolled around all too quickly and I took my place at the register. Flipping the sign on the glass door from "closed" to "open", I mentally prepared myself for another day in customer service.

~~~

"I'm sorry, ma'am. We don't sell pizza or hot wings here."

"What? But I need them for my son's soccer game today. He's the best on his team by the way," she tilted her nose up in pride, "there must be something you can do." The smile on face twitched and I felt the urge to roll my eyes growing stronger.

"I am really very sorry ma'am, but we only sell baked goods, coffee, and lemonade." Her nostrils flared and her voice rose a few notches.

"I have been very patient with you for the past..." she glanced at her shiny wristwatch, "seven minutes and you have been nothing but unhelpful. Let me see your boss." She impatiently leaned on the counter.

"Of course ma'am. I'll get her right away." As I turned, I took a deep, calming breath. I poked my head into the kitchen and called, "Cara?"

She was decorating a cake I had made that morning.

"What?" She didn't break her concentrated gaze on the work in front of her.

"This lady demands to see you. She's been insisting that we make her pizza and wings for..." I jokingly glanced at an imaginary watch, "seven minutes."

"And you haven't taken her out of line, why?"

"There's no one behind her, luckily. She probably wouldn't move anyway." My employer groaned and set down the piping bag.

"We might as well switch. I'm getting tired," she sighed and rubbed her swollen belly, "I should probably get some more help around here." I made a noise of agreement and picked up where she had left off. This was going to be a long day.