Firehouse 51

Sugar Motta

Shift wasn't too bad, Santana and Brittany only had a couple of calls that day. Nothing serious, mostly elderly people needing assistance. Once they were off shift, Brittany went straight to the airport. Sugar had planned to land after Brittany was done with shift so that they could talk without getting interrupted.

Brittany pulled up to the curb at the airport, and got out of the car to greet Sugar. They hugged, a long embrace which was something that Brittany needed. It had been a couple months since she saw her ex-roommate last.

Once she had put her bags in the car, Sugar climbed in the front seat and Brittany got into the driver's. It was crazy, because it was like they never missed a minute together. They were back talking like old times, like nothing had changed.

But the truth was, a lot had changed. So much in fact, that the girls had a 5 hours long conversation about what had happened since they saw each other in California. Brittany was staying with Sugar at her hotel for the weekend. She didn't want to impose on Quinn, she was already doing a lot by letting Brittany stay there for free.

"So more about you. Actually, let's talk about the reason why I'm here." Sugar looked at her friend. "What happened?"

"I had one of those dreams. Where I was deployed, and we were fighting our way our of a ambush. It was different though, I was holding a M4 this time; and I was walking up to this door. And it looked so familiar. So when we lined up, I went to kick the door in and when it opened I realized I was at Santana's apartment. I saw a insurgent in the corner and when I went to shoot, she stood in front of my muzzle. Her eyes were so scared. I put the weapon down. She took it from me, and threw it to the side. But that's when he shot her. And I saw it then, Sug." Brittany rubbed her eyes in frustration. "I saw the life leaving her eyes. Like Quinn."

"Whoa." Sugar didn't even know what to say. "I mean, what happened after that?"

"I just held her. And the hard part about that was, the dream wasn't over yet. I thought I was gonna wake up after that but I didn't. I even tried waking myself up. I just kept holding her, and she was telling me that it was alright. That I needed to let her go."

"That's new. Cause in all your other dreams, Quinn would ask you to keep her alive."

"Yeah. That's why I kept asking her why. Why was she saying that? And her answer was the same. 'You know why.' And it was just the way that she was saying it. It was so cold."

Sugar got up off of the bed and walked over to the fridge to grab a water bottle. "You want anything?"

Brittany shook her head. "I don't know what it was Sug. It was weird. That's why when I woke up, I was sweating. My breathing was fast, and I didn't know how to calm myself down. That's when I looked over at her, and I immediately calmed down."

"Like you went back to breathing normal and everything?"

"Yeah. That's why I didn't understand. That's why I called you. Usually after dreams like that, I'm fucked for the rest of the day. But I literally looked at her and 3 seconds later, I was good."

"Then, why did you call? Not that I don't enjoy our time together or anything. I always enjoy a spontaneous trip. Especially one that gets me out of work."

"Because. Just because she calms me down when I wake up, doesn't mean that I won't hurt her while I'm still asleep. You know what I mean? She means, so much to me. We kissed already you know."

Sugar's jaw dropped. "You let her in?"

"Technically yes. But she doesn't know exactly everything."

"Everything as in, your pills and your PTSD I'm guessing?"

Brittany shook her head in agreement. "I'm afraid that it'll scare her away. No one at the firehouse knows what happened at 27. They know nothing about what went down in California and I'd like to keep it that way."

"I agree, but it is something you need to talk to her about. You know what I mean? If you wanna go somewhere- anywhere, with this girl Britt you have to tell her. She deserves to know that much." She paused. "Have you talked to Janet since California by the way?"

"I have here and there, she was a little shaken up at first but we're back to how we used to be."

"That's good."

"I just, I don't want to fuck this up Sug. Santana is so much different compared to Janet. Janet was just a friend. She was never anything more. I haven't had feelings like this for someone in a long ass time. And it's scary."

"Just take it slow okay?"

And that was pretty much the end of that conversation. They take for a couple more hours, and when they finally went to bed, Sugar instantly fell asleep. Her trip from Texas was tiring for her. She was always against riding airplanes, so you could imagine her discontent when she found out they were getting deployed. The trip alone from Oklahoma to Afghanistan was over 10 hours not including the layovers.

Brittany was wide awake. There was always this, hidden fear she had in the back of her mind after she had dreams like the one she had the night before. It was hard. Because it has kept her from talking to people. She's come across so many amazing people. Ones that she wanted to get to know. But she never let them in. She couldn't. Because after the first time, she didn't have the energy in her to explain her situation. She didn't want to let someone in, just for them to leave. Leave like Charlotte did.

It scared her. Because at this point, she knew that Santana was different. Different in so many different ways it was crazy. Her heart raced at just the thought of her. Her smile, the smell of her hair. The way she treats patients. The patience she has for children. The care she has for others. And mostly, for the already deathly hold she had on Brittany. It was crazy. No one, and when I say no one, I mean no one has ever been able to calm Brittany down after a dream.

The scariest part? Is that she calmed her down without even trying. She wasn't even awake. All Brittany had to do was look at her. That's all she wanted to do. She wanted to look at her. Stare, admire. Everything about Santana up until this point has been everything Brittany has ever looked for in a person. She knew that she had to tell Santana the truth. But the question was when?

Now, hopefully? The truth doesn't scare Santana away.