I hate having crushes, or liking someone you weren't supposed to like.
But you did.
I liked that person, I didn't know why, I just did. Pros are, You can dream about that person again and again and feel like your living in a dream, a paradise you'd never expect to go to. That feeling like you were in cloud nine. Like you imagined you were together.
But as per usual, Pros always have cons, whether you want the shitty things from reality come or not, they will always come. Like a monster sneaking under your bed, waiting for you to fall asleep in your dreamland with that person then poof.
The monster crawls up on top of you, it's weigh makes you feel heavier. Like realizing at person will never be yours but you still stuck into your dream, thinking the positive things.
Then, stage 2.
The monster growls and disturbs your comfort of home. You feel uncomfortable, like voices saying you will not have that person and you will never be, you will never be together no matter what you do. It frustrates you.
The growls become louder and louder, growls become into uncomfortable cries and ear hurting, high- pitched screams.
Think positive, you say, now you dream yourself kissing that person, it's hand holding your waist and you throw your arms on it's shoulders feeling in the kiss,
Now you dream about being on top of a mountain, It's sunset and the wind blows by, your dress flowing.
But there's something, in the forest beneath you, something screams, it becomes louder and louder. You break into the kiss. You hold your ears, the pain was unbelievable, then, you wake up,
Realized the monster was now a hold of you, it's scary eyes going in sharp into yours, You can't breath, you can't hide. You can't do anything but face the reality that's staring deep at you.
You lost consciousness, your memory fades, everything turned black and white and the body you were deeply kissing before, the person you spent good nights with, was now slowly turning into ashes, the cool air blowing it away.
You feel it's arms gone, no more paradise, emptiness filling in you, all it's left its the skull, you were still holding it's face like you did when it was still here,
It's like kissing the dead skull, the only memory that didn't break when you had him, but it was useless, like kissing dry air.
But, it doesn't matter now, it will end soon enough, besides, he has it's eyes on someone else anyway.
Someone you will never be.
