After all that time

Chapter 2 - Drunken mistakes

It was the beginning of October and Louis was so done with everything that was his life at the moment. The last time he saw his son was a month ago and only for a few hours. Fuck Brianna and her stupid lawyers. Louis felt that no matter what situation, he always was the bad guy. It was his fault for getting that girl pregnant, it was his fault for being famous and in a boyband, it was his fault that that band was on a so called hiatus right now and it was his fault that he couldn't even see his own child because apparently he is only good for the money. Yeah, fuck that.

It wasn't supposed to be like that. After he and Eleanor broke up, he just wanted to feel desired again. To have somebody want him and not only fight over every stupid little thing that they could think about. It was as if the only thing they could do the last couple months of their relationship was looking miserable at red carpet events and throwing mean things at each other verbally. Louis didn't know why, they were in a good place for a long time and at the beginning he really loved her. But as it seemed, they weren't meant for each other in the end. And it was okay, Louis was okay with the break up for the most part. He knew that it was only for the best and that he would be better after a while.

He called up Stan and Oli and went out with them again. They were so happy to see him going out and about instead of sulking in his own four walls, so Louis supposed he could be convinced to go out once in a while again. They were hitting the clubs every weekend when he was free and he didn't fail to get the girls attention every time.

That was also how he met Brianna. She was pretty and willing and not too clingy, so he invited her up to his hotel room. Not just once. He figured that it was the easiest to get laid that way. He trusted her enough to not have her running to the paps and she was decent enough in bed, too.

But then it happened. It was the fourth time that they were together and Louis was really horny, so with only one hand available, he opened the condom packet with his teeth. Fatal mistake. After the condom broke, Brianna had assured him that she was on the pill though, so he didn't think too much about it again.

He was on tour with the boys when he got the call. It was simply the most scariest moment in his entire life. Even just seeing Brianna's number on his display after they hadn't spoken in more than a month, let his heart beat slightly faster. But after hearing her say "We fucked up, Louis. I'm pregnant", it was as if he lost his hearing and eyesight at the same time. There was only white and black dots in front of his eyes and a faint ringing noise in his ears. He doesn't even really remember too much about that moment, apparently Alberto found him sitting against a wall inside the backstage part of the arena, face white as a ghost and only breathing shallowly.

The second scariest moment was telling the boys. He tried to procrastinate as long as he could, but after a few days he could tell that the boys realized there was something up with him. So after the show in San Diego, he took all the courage he could come up with and told them. As he expected, they weren't thrilled, but they also didn't judge him. All but one. Harry.

If somebody didn't know Harry that well, they wouldn't have seen the change of demeanor in his face. But Louis happened to know Harry and his body language pretty well. And because of that he also caught the way his face fell the moment he realized what Louis had said, if only slightly. But Louis knew that Harry would never show his emotions in front of him anymore if he could avoid it.

And with Harry running away not five seconds later, Louis knew that Harry was not okay. He got up to run after him, but Zayn caught his arm and told him not to. Right. It was not his place anymore to know what was going on with Harry.

He made sure of that three years ago.

*Flashback November 2012*