Broken

The Dinner

We enter Mingle On Main for dinner, we small talk about what we are going to order, then suddenly Lola abruptly interrupts her mother, (classic Lola),"So, what do you think of Bora Bora? You totally blanked out on us in the hospi- OWW!!" She grabs her arm in pain, and has guilt written all over her face,"Sorry, uh, that was insensitive of me." She glares at her mum, and still sucks at apologies. Within three minutes mains are served, we ordered garlic bread. "So? How does it sound? Just you, me, mum, and some hot mousse massaging ever so delicately on our soft tanned, and sun kissed skin?" She cheekily grins, amusement playing on her lips. "Hmm, it depends, hot mousse and all sounds advertising, but what about snorkelling?!" I excitedly exclaim, Lola crinkles her nose, and nibbles on a minuscule piece of garlic bread that she calls 'in portion'. I grin widely.
Facts about Lola:
Long brown curly hair
Is now single (dumped *boring, what's his name again?* boyfriend)
Will physically punch you if you touch hair
Is not a morning person
Girl type: Live in the moment guys, come on!! (Followed by giggles etc etc.)
"So, how are you dealing with things?" This conversation is taking an unwanted turn to crazy town. To avoid bursting into tears at a five star restaurant, I simply shake my head and widen my eyes, enough to say, 'Don't go there' but also, 'I'm fine, don't worry', so that she stops. Unfortunately she doesn't quite receive my signal in time. "Like.. you're not going to do something bad right, like, smoking, or do drugs, because that would be really, really bad." She suddenly looks at me really seriously. I furrow my brow, dig in my pocket, grab my anti-depression pill container, pop it out of today's date, and folia! Down it goes. Lola takes this the wrong way.
"Omg! Omg, JANE! What the HELL do you think you're doing?" She hisses as she storms off to the bathroom.
I'm giddy with joy.
I burst into the girls bathrooms,
I can't hold it in any longer...
I take a deep breath and giggle my head off, and stop only because of the look on Lola's face, she's pale with concern. I got her so good! I start explaining that they were just my anti depressions, and she lets out a sigh of relief.
...
After mains, we devour our dessert, chocolate mousse. I haven't eaten since the crash, not proper meals anyway, but I feel great and nothing can dim my mood.....
"So lets talk foster parents," except that," when we come back from our relaxing trip Lola and I are going to help guide you to the perfect new parents."
How can they not get this?
You don't just 'replace' your parents and your family memories, it's wrong.
It has to feel right.
I need nice parents.
I don't want to think about it.
I REFUSE to even consider anything of the sort, for now anyway.
I look down at my half filled mousse cup while running through these thoughts. As I scrape the very bottom of my glass, I sigh loudly and in a whisper I say," Not now, I don't want to talk about it."
...