The Mysterious Austin Powers

Prologue

  It was a fine morning in the town of...actually no one knows what town it was because it was suppose to be kept top secret because everything in this story is top secret because the main character, Austin Powers, is a secret agent obviously, and no not the Austin Powers you are probably thinking of from all the famous Austin Powers movies, no no this person is much less famous and sadly much less rich....BUT that will soon change as he becomes the creation of many many many entertaining stories of unusual natural and that I will personally have great fun in writing. But back to this fine day in our little town called..hmm lets just call it Shh, that fits doesn't it? Since its top secret and everything right? Yeah yeah anyway...in the town of Shh everything was going actually as any other day. Little Debbie Sue was walking her dog at actually 9 o'clock just like any other day. Then there was the neighbor Jonny Jr. admiring her from afar, hoping to catch a glimpse up her dress as he had always done at this time. It seemed to be just another day here in Shh but it wouldn't last for long.
"GET THAT SEXY BITCH! OH THAT SEXY BITCH! SLAP HER ASS! HER BIG FAT ASS! IT SO NICE! LIKE POPSICLE ICE! GET THAT SEXY BITCH! OH THAT SEXY BITCH!" Austin Powers lay in bed, mouth gapped open, drool on his pillow. He didn't stir a bit as his alarm clock sounded at high volume beside him, most likely due from the hangover from the amount he had had to drink the night before.
"Austin? Darling?" came a voice from the door. After a few seconds with no reply the door opened and in came Austin's very clingy and over-protective mother. "Oh, my banana dumplings you look awful!" She exclaimed as she tried to turn off the alarm, didn't know how and ended up just throwing it out the window. Austin had awoken at this. "Damn it mother, I need my sexy bitch!"
"Oh face it son, you don't get much of those anyway." She smiled and patted him on the back.
"Get out."
" Honey, just trying to help..."
"Mother!"
"Fine,fine, I'm gone goodbye!" She left without another word and Austin fell back into bed with a sigh.
You see Austin Powers was a very mysteries fellow. Some might say he was socially awkward, others may think he was just paranoid, few might even go as far as to consider him a vampire. Although the vampire rumor was mostly just a tale told among the kids around the town. It so happened to be one of Jonny Jr.'s favorite in fact. He enjoyed telling it to Debbie Sue on dark nights to try and get her to crawl in bed with him. Thats besides the point. The point is many people wondered about Austin. Why he always seemed to be inside. Why he was in his twenties and lived with his parents. Why he seemed to have nether friends nor job. Why some said they thought they saw him out at night but then would lose sight of him when they tried to follow him. Nobody knew what to think of this Austin Powers so they would just leave him to his own businesses and devices. But soon certain events will cause the town to see the hidden life of Austin Powers. How he lives a second life of sorts and he isn't such the pathetic man every one thinks he his. But how will this new information affect this ordinary town? Will they no longer accept Austin Powers? What dangers will they have to face? Who exactly is Austin Powers???