Star-Struck Reviews

Story 17

Name: Where Sister Wives Talk
Genre: Short Story
Author: MRC_123

Reviewer: cry_baby_motto

I'm not really sure what to say and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. This story isn't like anything I read before and I'm curious to see how the authors will carry it out. I wasn't certain what to expect and it took me a moment till I caught on to the story, although that might just be me.

Nonetheless, despite my consequently positive opinion on the story I found a few (though minor) errors in the grammar. For example only one person's dialogue should be in a paragraph, so let's say Clancy asks Max a question and Max answers. Clancy's question will get the first paragraph and Max's answer will get the second. You probably know that, though, but I still found it differently in some parts.

Then it was the quotation marks. This also was looked over in few cases so I'm guessing the authors DO know how to use them correctly and everything but sometimes don't pay attention to them.

Also I would like to bring words that repeat into sharper focus. Like I mentioned countless times this is very important because repetitive phrases might (and most likely will) distract the reader from the story, having the opposite effect the author surely wanted.

Another thing I would like to point out is that I'm not seeing a plot in the story yet. If, of course, that is intentional I have no problem with it, though I do recommend you include it, for it is more likely to keep the readers hooked than not.

Otherwise all in all with a bit of work on details this could be a very enjoyable story!

-chezzy :)