Star-Struck Reviews

Story 19

Name: I Hate Him, I Hate Him Not
Genre: Humor
Author: SomebodyXXXXX

Reviewer: cry_baby_motto

There are a few things I would like to point out in the story.

Firstly, I saw a few errors when it came to grammar. In the beginning three or so chapters I noticed that the author forgot or didn't put a coma after a quotation mark. (Example: "Eat a door and get splinters," Xander muttered. The incorrect version: "Eat a door and get splinters." Xander muttered.)

Then sometimes the dialogues of two people were in one paragraph. It is a truth universally contradicted that every peron speaking should have his own paragraph, as to not confuse the readers.

The story line itself wasn't bad and developed rather well in the five chapters I read. Still, some facts about Xander's parents or the characters could have been introduced earlier. Like how Tiana's mother worked for Xander's father could have been mentioned earlier when we were only getting to know the characters.

Then the smallest detail that could be checked are the chapter names-- too long if you ask me. How about shortening them to phrases that captivate the reader and urge him to read more?

Otherwise the characters and scenes are well-written and make one laugh, just like the genre promised.

-chezzy