Our Forest ♡ Joshler

Every Beginning starts with an End

°•°trigger warning°•°

Do you know that feeling when the world around you feels numb or you're not quite all there at the time? If you don't then maybe you can imagine the feeling. That's how Josh felt looking at his father in a casket yet it wasn't him, he was already gone.

Sure Josh's father wasn't the nicest guy, well he was an ass really, but not to Josh. Was. It still felt insane to have to say that now. His mother refused to tell him how he died, in fact, she wouldn't talk at all.

"Josh" Jordan spoke in Josh's ear, but he ignored him and stared at his father. "Josh we got to go" Josh felt his hand being tugged as Jordan dragged him away. Josh could only stare at the casket paralyzed as he got dragged away. He snapped out of it halfway and started to follow his brother to the car where the rest of his family was.

•••

Josh walked into his room and intended to just lay in bed until the shock wore off and he maybe started to mourn. But he was stopped by the boxes in his room that were definitely not his.

"What?" Josh muttered under his breath and back pedaled into the kitchen where Ashley sat. "Who's boxes are those in my room" he asked his tongue forming words clumsily, due to not speaking for a while.

"Dad's" his sister spoke bluntly, Ashley was not one to sugar coat things. Josh's brain worked to form a question that made since with all the other questions in his head. "Why?" Ashley shrugged "Dad wanted you and Jordan to have his stuff so you can look through it and see what you want.". Josh nodded still confused, why did his father want him to have his stuff? Josh went to his room and closed the door behind him and locking it.

Josh pushed the boxes to make a path to his bed and sat down to start looking through the first box.

After looking through 3 boxes Josh had decided to keep his father's watches, hoodies, and a letter addressed to him that said to open on his 18th birthday, which was in three months. While looking through the 5th box Josh became cold and decided to put on one of his father's hoodies.

Josh hadn't meant to, but when he put the hoodie on he smelled the article of clothing. Which smelled like his father and sent a wave of nostalgia over him and that's when the shock wore off. Josh broke and erupted into sobs that wracked his whole body.

The memories became painful as he remembered the moments with his father and through the tears in his eyes Josh saw a box of unopened razors in his dad's things.

Without thinking Josh went for the box and opened them. He held one razor before breaking it and holding one of the razor blades in his hand.

He looked at it for a moment before rolling up his sleeve and started to cut lines. Josh lost count after fifteen cuts and just kept drawing lines until he could only see red. The pain was almost overwhelming, but it wasn't enough. Josh rolled up his other sleeve and repeated until all he could see was red.

Both of his arms had a overwhelming stinging sensation and Josh now didn't know how he was going to get his arms cleaned up.

Josh got up from his bed and opened the door quietly peeked out into the hallway. Seeing no one he rushed to the bathroom and closed the door locking it was well.

He breathed a sigh of relief and went to the sink and started to wash the cuts on his arms.

•••

Josh really couldn't sleep that night. After tossing and turning for what seemed like hours he finally gave up and decided to go for a walk.

He quickly threw on some pants and a hoodie and slipped on his shoes then walked out the front door. The chill outside refreshed Josh as he walked to no where in particular.

When Josh came to walk by the forest by his house he couldn't help but stare into it wondering what was inside. Josh never went into the woods despite living here all his life. His father always said it was dangerous and that Josh could easily get lost.

Standing there Josh noticed a small worn path into the woods that he didn't remember being there before. Josh shook his head wondering if he was seeing right, but when he looked back sure enough there was a path. He debated for a while before his curiosity got the best of him and found himself following the path inside the forest.

The path led to what used to be a tree house, but was now a heap of blackened wood. Did the tree house catch on fire? Either way the tree house was no longer a tree house.

Josh walked over to a patch of grass that was flattened, like someone often laid or sat there. Josh shrugged and laid down in the spot, gasping out loud at the view of the sky.

It was beautiful to say the least the sky was a purple that faded put into a dark blue and the stars were so clear you could count them all. Josh laid there until the sun started to peak over the trees in the forest.

In that moment Josh felt...... peaceful the word felt so foreign to him, yet that's hiw he felt the entire night just laying there looking up at the sky.

Josh decided that that was his secret place the place where he felt safe. The only place that could make him forget about everything.

His Forest 

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Hey tacos so I decided to make, yet another Joshler book. But I'm also currently writing two other ones and I don't know which one that I'll upload or if I will even upload either one.

But anyways thanks for reading this chapter and I hope you're just as excited about it as I am

Love you all

Stay Beautiful Bye ♡