Anchor [Kai Parker]

Forgive but Never Forget

You see I wasn't always this big bad guy who doesn't care about anyone or anything... but I once did. I once had emotions some pretty heighten ones too.

I suppose you already know about how vampires turn their humanity off like if it's some kind of switch. To them, you just surrender all your feelings deep down and you tell the person you love most to bring you back when it's time. This one person will bring you back eventually if you give in. They'll turn your switch back on and sadly all that you did during that time will feel like a sudden rush of so many feelings, anger but mainly guilt. The Sad part is those people that are there for you after you turn it on forgive you. After everything, you did why would they? Did they think about the victims? They'll eventually tell you everything will be okay but why do you believe them? Is it because of love? Because they care? Or maybe because you just want to make amends for what you did? Either way, you can't forget what you did, and that guilt will haunt you no matter what.

For me it's the same you have that "switch" but once you give in a person that loves you or that you love can't bring you back. It has to be your exact soul mate and 9/10 you have no clue who it is so you're just... stuck.

Yes yes pretty idiotic if you ask me.

Anyway, I did have a family. You have to start somewhere right. The "did" yes I know it's not like they're dead, but they are to me. It really is their fault all of this started. My family was uh different you could say. But I was the real castaway. It pretty much sucked for as long as I can remember. Until I got here.

Going back to the good old 70's. The Parker's. We were a big family and by big, I mean a total of 8 children. Two sets of twins I find that really cool. Why? I don't know.

Everything started when I was about 6. I started to do things. Amazing things. They would be accidental and random of course. Sooner or later you figure it all out and you think it's kinda cool and extraordinary but it is torture and lonely. My sister, Jo she was quite the perfect one. She could do spells and make thinks float and everyone just applauding her. I remember my father cheering her on and helping her while I sat on the sidelines with no one to guide me and it was terrifying. The worst part of it all was that I was the kid walking around like an addict. I couldn't even touch anyone, that screwed me up big time. I started to notice my parents looking at me and treating me differently for so long, but never made much of it. They looked at me in fear like if I would dare to hurt them or my brothers in any second. That really hurt because I loved them no matter what they put me through and I wanted that back. I was young. I was a little boy! I needed them! The only person who ever showed me that was Jo. She really showed me she truly saw good in me, that I wasn't dangerous, I was just... different. That different is okay. They just didn't understand my different at all.

At the time I didn't really know what the hell was going on. And I needed my parents. I was scared. They should have been helping me, but I got nothing. I feared to be alone and not being loved. Yes, there was one person who truly cared, but it wasn't enough for me. Most of the time I would think about how it would be if I was just gone. Out of my family's life. I always though it would have been a lot easier. Pretty fucked up right? At that age having those thoughts just because they considered me the "abomination." All I could do was drift away and that's exactly what I did.

Years later was when my life turned around and I had let go of my grudge against my family at the time, but I never forgot. I lived in the same house but I would just pretend no one was there and they did too so it was fine. Until one day my parents had dropped a bombshell on my siblings and I. Since I was the oldest and by "oldest" I mean I was 15 so of course I had to keep my cool and not freak out. To be honest I was excited to know more about who we really were and what our coven really meant. The time I spent alone I tried to control what I could do but it wasn't enough. I wanted to run away and find someone who could help but I didn't even know where to start.

I did find out some pretty interesting things but I couldn't make much of it because I knew there was more but I was cast out from knowing more. They were some real ashamed parents, but I was way too stubborn. So when I was a sophomore in high school I decided to spend my afternoons at the library. I figured maybe they must have stories since barely anyone believed I had to start there. Trust me I hated it so much just because I couldn't get the stories from my own parents. Now as a senior I bet I've found out 60% of the literal information, but I mean what would you do if you found out you really were the outcast of your family. They were witches but what about me? What made me so different from them? Oh I, Malachai Parker, I was the damned one of us all. I am a siphoner.