Again & Again
"What?! Are you out of your mind Julie?!" Maqui yelled over the phone the moment Julie finished talking.
"No, I'm not. Listen Maq." She breathed. "Hindi lang ako ang may gusto nito. It's a mutual decision, okay?"
"Mutual decision mo mukha mo! My God Julie!" she whined. "Masasabi pa naming wedding jitters niyo lang yan kung first time 'to e. Kaso hindi! It's the 5th time you cancelled the wedding! Fifth!"
Julie can imagine her best friend being ecstatic as she spoke. She can't blame her, she's stating facts and she knows her parents will react more than her friend does if they find out.
"Anong magagawa ko? Eh siya yung nagsabi na hindi na nga tuloy." She frowned.
"Oh really?" she said sarcastically. "Sige nga, ikwento mo yung buong pangyayari. Daliiiii."
"O-kay." She said hesitantly. "We're on his car, going to a bakeshop to choose a cake then the topic of which flavor to choose came up. I said I want vanilla flavor but he said he wants mocha. Then yun, nag-argue na kami."
"Oh? Sinong nag-initiate na i-cancel yung wedding? I know Elmo wouldn't." she said with as-a-matter-of-fact tone.
"Fine. Ako."
"Yon." she said prolonging the word. "You again."
Julie frowned as she heard the combination 'you again.' They always assume that it is her to blame when they are cancelling the wedding.
"It's not me. Hindi lang naman ako yung nagdesisyon e. He agreed!"
"My God, Julie! I never imagined you being like this! You're so childish!" she squealed. "Don't you think na kaya lang siya uma-agree sayo e because he's tired of you being so immature? Na he don't want to argue with you anymore kaya he always say yes to you? Gosh, Juls!" she groaned. "College palang tayo ganyan kana. When you don't want him clubbing, he wouldn't! When you don't want his perfume, papaltan niya! You're so lucky to have a guy who would do anything you want and yet you're doing this."
Julie frizzed as she heard what she said. Maqui never yelled at her like this and she never said those words to her, until now. It's like she woke up from a nightmare and all her memories with him flashed. She never thought of this, maybe that's why she's taking him for granted. She felt guilty when she pictures him feeling gloomy because of her. And no, she doesn't want to see him like that ever again.
At this moment, there's only one thing she wants to say to her friend.
Thank you.
-
She was leaning to his car and looking at her shoes while waiting for him to appear. She's been here for an hour that it felt like forever. She wants to throw all the things that will come in front of her because of annoyance. She was really annoyed, angry, frustrated and all the words that is synonyms to those.
So this is what he feels when I show up late.
She sighed as she remembered the times she did that. Not once, not twice, not even thrice. She can't count it anymore. Guilt is eating her and she's hesitating if she would do what she thinks is the best for him, for her. For them.
She bites her lower lip as she prevented herself from crying.
Gosh, I'm such a cry baby.
"Hey."
She froze as she heard him. That voice, who comes right away the moment she calls him in the middle of the night. The owner of the voice who buys her pads when she had her monthly periods. Him, who had been consistent in understanding her when no one can.
Elmo.
"H-hey." She stuttered.
"What are you doing here?" he said, calmness not evident. The calming voice that hum her to sleep.
He really is mad.
"I'm sorry." She said as she looked at her shoes again, rubbing her right foot to her left.
"Sorry for what?" she heaved a sigh to what he said.
"Sorry for being such an immature."
He smiled at what she said. This is the very first time she admitted that she's an immature.
"Hmm. I wonder who made you realize that."
She slapped his left arm using her right.
"You meany." they chuckled.
It's always like this. She'll say sorry and he'll forgive her. You can say he's stupid for forgiving her but that is how love works for the both of them, no other words needed. What you say is whatyou get.
"Let's get married." She said out of the blue.
"No more arguing about the theme color?"
"None."
"How about the guest list?"
"Ahuh."
"The reception?"
"Na uh."
"Eh, how about the cake?" he said wiggling his brows.
"Promise." She smiled sweetly. "We don't need those anyway."
"Huh? Eh how can we get married without those?"
"Because we'll get married now." She said pointing down. "Just us. You, me."
"Plus God and the priest."
"So, you'll marry me?"
"Hmm. Okay." He said looking at her lips as he moves his head to hers.
"Again?"
He touched her lips using his after he said, "Again and again."
