exposed. || g.d

Black.

Smother - Daughter

We stood at the front door waiting for it to open. I could tell Grayson was nervous. I can't really blame him, though.

Just moments later, the door swung open, releasing the dreadful aroma inside the house. I refrained from coughing or showing any facial expressions. It was as if someone shat alcohol, weed, and nicotine then died.

The way his mother looked wasn't far from what the smell would look like. She was an awful mess. Her roots of grey hair was extremely grown out, her skin was washed from any color, and her eyes were glazed and lazy. I must admit, I honestly felt sorry for the lady.

Her eyes quickly brightened when she realized who it was that stood before her. The way that he looked at her; he didn't care what she looked nor smelt like. She's his mother. She will be his number one, no matter what.

"Grayson." Her voice was near inaudible. It was as if she smoked two packs a day, so raspy yet quiet.

"Momma."

My heart wrenched at the nickname he's given her. She opened her arms wide, inviting him into her embrace. He wasted no time accepting her invitation. He towered over her, so he wrapped his arms around her, swallowing her into his body. She rested her head on his chest with her eyes squeezed shut. Her arms were tightly wrapped around his torso, her knuckles were white from squeezing so hard.

Standing there, watching him hug his mother after not seeing her for months, maybe even years, made me realize what I never had. I never had this moment with my mother. I never had the hug for long minutes from her. I've never had her eyes brighten from seeing me after a long time. I've never even heard her say 'I love you' to me. After seeing this, I've never wanted it more. I've never wanted the capability of going up to my mother just for a hug so badly. I've never wanted to just have someone always there to support me through anything so badly. I've never wanted the thing that created and formed me to love me so badly. I've never wanted a mother so badly.

I looked away and wiped away the few tears that stranded from my eyes as they pulled apart.

She rested her hands on his biceps, looking over him, taking in the lost time. "My, you have grown. You have grown so much." She smiled a weak smile, shaking him lightly with almost every word.

"Mom, this is Roselyn." Her attention switched to me, forcing a large smile. "She's my co-worker." I almost choked at his lie but managed to keep a straight face.

"Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Lisa." She held her hand out for me to shake.

I obliged and took her hand into mine. "It's a pleasure."

"Come in." She opened the door wider, releasing even more of the awful aroma.

I followed Grayson inside the house. It was quite the mess. Grayson would have fired me so fast if I let his condo get like this.

"Mom, when was the last time you cleaned this place?" I looked in the kitchen, there was a tall pile of dishes in the sink. She walked to the burning cigarette resting in the ashtray and placed it between her lips.

"Just," She breathed in and let out a puff of smoke when she spoke, "a couple days ago, or so."

Grayson sat on the couch, inviting me to sit next to him. He let out a soft sigh. He looked around and looked confused. "Where's Cam?" I'm assuming he's talking about his sister.

His mother took in another puff, breathing out the white smoke. She avoided any eye contact with either of us. "She's um," her voice trailed, "she's..."

"Mom."

"I don't know, Grayson." She slung her arms, the cigarette threatening to fall from between her fingers.

"What do you mean you 'don't know?'" He grew angry very quickly.

"She said that she couldn't be here any longer and just walked out. I haven't seen her since." She was rather calm for saying that her daughter just randomly left without having any knowledge of where she's going.

"And you don't care?" Grayson relaxed against the back of the couch, slinging his arms over the edge, letting them hang.

"Now, Grayson," She stuck a new cigarette in her mouth and lit it, "you know I care about your sister." The stick bobbed between her lips. "She's old enough to make her own decisions." she shrugged.

Grayson stood up from the couch, "I knew it was a mistake coming here. Come on, Rose." He began walking off.

"Grayson." I spoke up.

"What?" His voice was harsh as he slung his body around, letting his hands hit his thighs.

"Please. It's your mother. She's going through a hard time."

"And I'm not?" His finger plunged into his chest multiple times. "I'm the one that was there when he passed. I was with him day and night. I'm the one that had to hear that ear piercing, torturous noise echo through the room. None of them were there. They all decided to go home and sleep. So I don't want to hear shit about 'going through a hard time' because I had to fucking watch that bastard die right before my eyes. I watched my world crumble into fucking nothing. So, bullshit. Bull-fucking-shit. I have no pity for any of you. It isn't my fault that you wasted your life, mom. It isn't my fault." He ran his hand through his hair, walking around in a circle. "You don't understand the pain I go through, day in and day out. You don't understand the shit. All the fucking bullshit. I would give absolutely anything to rewind time and relive the moments I had with him. I would do anything to have him back here with us. But you know what? Life is a bitch. He's not here anymore. He's gone. There's no getting him back. It's over. It's done." He quickly wiped away the few tears that fell.

His mother was a crying mess by now, and I was close.

"Mom, I love you, but you are a mess. You ruined everything you had. You were so beautiful and bright. You were so funny. You wasted everything." She nodded. "Please, help yourself. I can't see you like this." She nodded, crying harder than before, and watched him as he walked out of the house.

I turned to her with a weak smile. "It  was really nice meeting you. You raised a really great family. Everything will get better. Time heals everything." She sobbed even more when she realized where I got my advice from. I patted her lightly on her shoulder and walked towards the door.

Standing in the entrance of the door, I did not realize how much life could change in just half a second.

I looked to my chest with blood flowing down the left side of my nice white shirt. Grayson ran to me, it seemed in slow motion. His screams were muffled but there were many veins protruding from his neck. I slowly fell to the ground and the next thing I saw:

Black.