The Secrets of Cassiopeia (Under Revision)

Prelude

Shaianah

Ang kuwento ng matatanda, naunang dumating ang kadiliman sa mundo. From its heart grew the stars that sparked and became light. The two used to dance around the endless void. They loved each other, and so they gave birth to supernaturals. From both light and darkness were born the four core elements- Water, Fire, Earth and Air. Sila ay tinawag na mga elementals. May mga taglay silang kakaibang kapangyarihan at lakas. Mahika.

But darkness was greedy. He wanted to rule. He wanted the entire land for himself. Light was weak and powerless against him. So, she planted seeds and waited centuries for it to grow. From those seeds were born the daughter of light, the goddess saviour, the great Queen Cassiopeia—my mother.

But I still have a long way to go before I live up to her. I am Shaianah Cohen, and this is my story.

-

"Kung bibigyan ka ng pagkakataon, would you go back in time?" A soft voice laced with so much sadness suddenly interrupts my serene thoughts. Napabaling ako kay Raya. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang isasagot ko sa kanya. Alam ko namang tinutukoy niya ang buhay namin dati noong kumpleto pa kami. Noong buhay pa sina mommy at daddy.

"There is peace in accepting death." It was an impending death and we have no power to change fate when it's already been decided. Kung babalik man kami sa mga panahong iyon, hindi pa rin namin maiiwasan ang mga pangyayari. If it's bound to happen, it will still happen.

Maagang kinuha si daddy sa amin. Labing-isang taong gulang pa lang ako noon. Ang kambal naman ay wala nang matandaang alaala kasama siya. Simula noon, si mommy na ang mag-isang nag-alaga sa aming magkakapatid. Hindi nagtagal, nalaman namin na may sakit si mommy, cancer. She had to undergo a series of treatments and chemos at akala namin okay na kaso bumalik pa. Nawala ulit, tapos bumalik ulit. Ang pinakanakakalungkot pa ay sa tuwing bumabalik ito ay mas lalong lumalala.

"Why do you seem okay with losing our mother?" Raya asked through a tight-lipped smile. She couldn't accept it. She didn't want to know what life would be like without our mother, but now she's being forced to live in it. I know exactly how she's feeling. What I can't tell her is that I feel the same. "Pakiramdan ko, wala kang pakialam sa mga alaalang iniwan nila sa bahay na ito. Parang ang dali lang sayo mag move on. Kamamatay lang ni mommy, naibenta mo na agad yung bahay."

It has been unbearably difficult for me, too. Ni wala akong panahon para magluksa dahil sa dami ng kailangang asikasuhin. After mommy's death, I had to find ways to pay the hospital for our remaining balance dahil kung hindi, hindi namin maki-claim yung bangkay niya. I sought help from our grandparents and they paid our bills. The rest, I had to pay using the money from the house we sold. Kinailangan ko rin asikasuhin ang libing at mga babayarin doon. Halos wala na akong tulog. May mga gabing gusto ko nalang tumigil, magkulong sa kwarto at umiyak. Pero alam ko ring ako nalang ang inaasahan ng mga kapatid ko.

Hindi rin nakapunta ang grandparents namin sa libing pero alam kong sobra silang nagluluksa para sa anak nilang matagal na nilang hindi nakikita. I never knew the story behind it, but in my seventeen years of existence, I've never seen even just their shadows. Pero lagi kaming pinaalahanan ni mommy na mahal na mahal daw kami ng grandparents namin. It's just that the circumstances didn't allow for us to meet.

"Wala na ba kayong naiwan? Nasa sasakyan na ba lahat ng gamit niyo?" Napalingon kaming dalawa kay Tito Gio, iyong matalik na kaibigan ni mommy. I tapped Raya's shoulder before I walked past her. Hindi rin ako handang iwan ang bahay na ito. Sobrang dami naming alaala rito. But we have to move to Cassiopeia as per our mother's last wish.