Chaos To My Calm - A Van McCann FanFic

Part 1 - "You look pretty fit for an old woman"

The sky was more grey and bleak than usual, which didn't help my mood. Walking through town, I felt an eerie sense of sadness about the place. There were no birds chirping, the clouds looked as though they could spit rain any minute and every passerby kept their head down; everything was miserable. What a great day to be celebrating your birthday...

I pushed my hands further into my pockets, ignoring the heaviness in my eyes that came from a lack of sleep, and continued up the street towards the supermarket. I ran through my shopping list in my head, making sure I wouldn't forget anything. Balloons, cups, plates, snacks, booze...

I can't even remember the last time I'd had a party; if you could call what I'm doing tonight a 'party' anyway. I was excited to have people round, to have a birthday cake, to feel special...but something about being the centre of attention always made me uncomfortable. You'd think at 20 I'd have grown out of it, but nope. Maybe 21 will be my year of learning to love attention?

"Morning Maggie," I said to the lady behind the counter and she nodded.

One of the best and worst things about living in small town was the fact that everyone knew each other. This meant, god knows who would even show up tonight; I wasn't popular or anything but word of mouth here was so strong, as was the love of free alcohol. Besides, I wouldn't put it past my mates to spread the invite to anyone regardless of my consent.

I wandered the desolate, LED lit aisles, reciting the list in my head and picking up things here and there. There was always something so ghostly about an empty supermarket. I filled up the trolley in no time. I'd probably gotten a little carried away, but screw it, you only turn 21 once.

I stood in front of the fridge full of alcoholic beverages, unsure of what to choose that would please everyone; I grabbed a bottle of vodka, whiskey and wine for good measure. The cart was almost overflowing at this point but I still tried to jam some cases of ciders and beers on top, which didn't go well with the bottles already balancing dangerously. I ended up holding two cases of cider in my arms while pushing the trolley with my elbows, with the remaining cases of beer resting unsteadily on top. I was struggling, to say the least.

"Here love, give me those," a voice said from behind me.

I turned around and was stopped dead in my tracks. It was none other than Van McCann, rushing towards me with open arms; I hadn't seen him properly in years. I gawked at him for a second, my eyes open wide. I wondered if he even remembered me.

"Uh..I...Thanks," I muttered awkwardly as I handed him the drinks.

"You feeding the masses tonight?" He joked, nodding at the trolley.

"Quite possibly," I laughed in response.

The last time I'd seen Van was at some pub show where his band played before they'd gotten properly famous. I used to hang out with some of his friends hence the invite to the pub show, but we were never friends directly as he was a year or so above me in school and I'd always felt too intimidated by him to strike up a conversation. I never wanted to be just another girl trying to talk to Van McCann.

If I'm honest, ever since school I'd always had a crush on him, but then again what girl didn't? Since the album came out, he was hardly ever home, always off touring. I'd hardly even thought about him, totally forgetting about my school girl crush until now.

The town was dead quiet, but when the Catfish boys came home, there was always gossip. Van and his bandmates were the talk of the town; our one claim to fame. Everyone knew about them, everyone tried to befriend them and everyone caused drama around them. Yet here he was, offering to help me in this tiny, shitty supermarket at eight in the morning.

"Whats the occasion then?" He smiled, helping me carry the cases to the checkout.

"Umm...well I'm having a party of sorts for my birthday.." I said quietly, looking at the ground and watching his black boots scuff the linoleum flooring; god I hate making a fuss.

"Today is your birthday?" Van asked excitedly, his eyes sparkling and eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, 21...I'm getting old," I responded with an awkward laugh.

"Well happy birthday! I gotta say, you look pretty fit for an old woman. If you're old, I must be a grandpa at 23 and all," he said with a wink and I blushed, rolling my eyes and laughing to brush off the compliment.

I unpacked the contents of my trolley onto the conveyor belt at the register, Maggie began beeping the items through. Van made sweet small talk with her, asking about her grandkids and stuff, which made me smile. I was unsure why he was still lingering around me, surely he had things to get on with?

He reached over the counter and grabbed a pack of cigarettes for himself. As he stretched his arm out, I couldn't help but stare at him; he was wearing his typical black jeans and striped jumper, his chocolate coloured hair falling into his eyes. He looked good, he'd hardly changed really.

"Chuck them in with my stuff thanks Maggie," I said casually before he could object.

"What? No! I'll get these don't be daft," or not quite before...

"Nonsense, I owe you for helping me. You really didn't have to, so a pack of smokes is nothing," I said sincerely and Van smiled, making eye contact with me for a little too long.

As I wheeled the trolley outside, Van walked a few paces behind me, carrying the cases of alcohol again.

"Do you need a lift"? He asked.

My heart rate quickened, god knows why.

"Um yeah if it isn't too much trouble?" Screw it, he offered and I sure as hell don't want to walk home with all this.

I helped him unpack the bags into the boot of his surprisingly shitty car. Not sure why I was expecting something fancy. Being the gentleman he is, he opened the passenger side door for me and I quickly ducked inside.

Van tapped his hands on top of the steering wheel and bounced his head in time to the music as he drove, he looked so comfortable. His black sunglasses were perched on the end of his nose despite the distinct lack of sunshine and I sat next to him with my hands in my lap, feeling a little awkward. I tried my best to ignore the butterflies in my stomach and give him directions to my house.

When we pulled up outside, without hesitation he got out to help me carry the things to the front door. I was embarrassed for him to see where I lived. My house wasn't great but it wasn't a shit hole I suppose, but I couldn't help but think of all the amazing celebrity pads he'd probably frequent. At least he didn't try to come inside.

"Thank you again, for all the help today," I said, crossing my arms as we stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"Anytime, Violet. Thanks for the ciggies, you didn't have to do that," Van responded with a smile and running a hand through his hair.

He did remember me. Oh god.

"Least I can do," I replied nervously.

He turned to walk down the front steps to his car, almost hesitantly.

Fuck it.

"Hey, you can come tonight if you want...about 8...I mean you've probably got loads of better things to do but-"

"I'll be there," he cut me off.

And with that, he walked away, climbed into his car and tooted the horn as he sped off down the road. My head was spinning. Van McCann was coming to my party. Mine, of all people's. Maybe today wasn't going to be so bad? It was already looking pretty damn good.