-F-
I try to void tripping over his blanket-covered form, which is sprawled across the floor in the dark, as I make my way quietly to the bedroom door. He insisted against sleeping in my bed with me, probably because he is paranoid, maybe a bit panicked. He was acting strange after school when we walked to my house together, and hung out in the afternoon. He was very quiet, and when he wasn't he was hinting that there was something wrong with him. What the hell am I supposed to do about it?
He would stare blankly into a random direction for a time, and then suddenly return with a hint of asperity and discomfort in his voice. His hands were always moving around as if he were very anxious. He cracked his knuckles so unremittingly that I thought I may have to be picking his fingers up off the floor for him, and he was muttering to himself incoherently every once in a while. After a bit I just told him that he should go to bed and get some rest, since I was tired of the awkwardness his odd mood changes brought. Most of the time, he's okay. He's nice and he talks about school and friends just like he's supposed to. Periodically he'll start acting strange.
I met him at the library. I have a job there, shelving books for surprisingly good pay. He was a new employee, and my boss told me to show him how the books were organized and instruct him about the basic processes of the workday with him. We became aquantences. We liked the same music and books, and eventually formed a friendship. He taught me a little bit about how to play dungeons and dragons, which at first I completely opposed because I thought it was the dorkiest thing on the planet. But then I thought, y'know, what have I got to lose? I already spend most of my time at the library and have barely any social status, so it couldn't really hurt that much. I ended up thinking that it was pretty interesting.
I open the bedroom door, causing a crack of light from the hallway to seep into the room. I close the door behind me and make my way into the kitchen, which is dimly lit by the moonlight just enough to fill a cup of water without turning the lamp on. I sit down on the tile next to the sliding-glass door, which faces my tiny backyard. The stars are very bright, and I am suddenly imbued with the idea that I really need to look at them. I sip my cup of water, look out the window and think about nothing. I can feel sleep pulling at my eyelids, but I know that if I lay down I will not actually sleep, I'll just continue to feel tired. I've been battling around with sleep ever since I told him to go to bed, and I've only been able to catch it for thirty minutes at a time. I always wake up and periodically I have nights where I just can't stay asleep at all. It's probably just stress or something.
Tomorrow morning, I will have to drop Gerard off at the library on my way to a band rehearsal (I play guitar in the school jazz band). He wanted to sleep at my house because he and his mom had some sort of argument or something, and something about locking him out of the house or something, I wasn't actually listening to be honest, but I didn't really mind having him around so I didn't really need much of an excuse.
I'm starting to feel like I'm actually going to fall asleep.
YOU ARE READING
//convince me to be okay//
Fanfictiona random frerard fic that i will probably never update, it will probably be about gerard having difficult worries about life and frank being supportive and helping him through it, and together they form an emotional bond by being able to share their...