Of the Occult

The Quiet Boy

Next morning, Jeremy woke up feeling much better. As he got off the cold bed, made his bed properly (he was a kid who had learned the benefits of cleaning before leaving early), and brushed his teeth, for once in his life he didn't think about anything. His mind was blank. No, Jeremy realised, not blank, but determined. It was the blankness that associated itself with higher will, as if he was certain today. Certain of what, he knew not, but he knew he wasn't going to think of all the negativities in his life today. No, today was a beautiful morning, despite the gray-blue sky, and the presence of thick clouds above, and the isolated streets below. Jeremy took sometime to decide what to wear today, something he never had done before. He even took sometime to comb his hair. The result: he looked much more approachable, much more sociable. Of course the look was sort of ruined when he, subconsciously, ruffled his hair before leaving the house.
School was a boring affair, but if anyone had taken the time to notice Jeremy, they would have seen a boy who was trying, truly trying. He tried to answer more in class, and at a certain point when the teacher made a funny joke and everyone laughed, he even joined in with the class. He even tried talking with the boy who sat next to him, when the latter's pencil fell down, but that conversation died quickly. No matter, Jeremy realised it would take some time to reinvent his repertoire from a reclusive shabby boy to something that suites him more. There was a test in English, but despite having studied nothing at all, this time he actually tried to answer what he knew instead of just sitting there. Oh, Jeremy was different today, a lovely sight. Pity no one bothered to watch him.
There was an exception but. The fat boy.
As usual, Jeremy was on his bicycle, going back home from school. And as usual, he was passing through the playground; his route to his home. His cycle was creaking way too loudly today; courtesy of the fall and the overnight rain, no doubt. And as his luck would have it, the chain of his bicycle got dislodged right in the middle of the ground. Jeremy immediately got down and went about fixing it. He hoped it wouldn't take much time.
But the fat boy had been eyeing Jeremy unobserved. He approached him now, pulling at the end of his cap.
"oi" he said.
Jeremy recognising the dreaded voice, didn't turn but continued on with fixing his bicycle as fast as possible. That was his only means of escape afterall.
"oi" said the fat boy again. Jeremy sensing it might not be such a good idea to ignore him altogether, looked up, only to see the 14 year old squatting next to him now. Without a word, he pulled at one end of the chain and Jeremy found it much easier to line the chain properly with the grooves. Maybe there were things that you could do better with some help? Something new Jeremy learned that moment.
"hey, you are Jeremy right?" the fat boy asked.
Jeremy Dupitt nodded.
"look, I wanted to say sorry. Alright? For yesterday. And other days."
Jeremy nodded again. It wasn't like he didn't want to say anything, but more like he couldn't. He looked at the fat boy's face from the corner of his eyes, and realised they looked something like his. Hurt. Jeremy got up to his feet and took off the bully's cap in an instant.
"why did you -?"
But Jeremy could see it, even as the fat boy snatched his cap away and put it over his head low. Jeremy had already seen the black blue eye, but beyond that, he had seen his anguish, his pain and his embarrassment of apologising to Jeremy. He understood that the fat boy wasn't really apologising, no not really, but it was something that the fat boy wanted to be done to him. So Jeremy did.
"hey. I am sorry."
"what for? T'wasnt you who beat me up for being fat. Those fucking high school kids, I will kill them one day for this."
"I know. But I am still sorry it happened to you."
The fat boy looked at Jeremy a bit, then smiled and extended a hand.
"I am Tom."
"cool."
And Jeremy was off on his cycle, leaving a bewildered Tom behind. Jeremy didn't realise for sometime, but he had made a friend that day.
So all in all, as Jeremy dropped his bicycle on the dried grass of his frontyard and entered the shadows of his home, he thought today had been a good day. Standing at the doorway and looking at the mess of the couch his father had slept in, he knew with certainty that today had been a good day. And all he wanted to do was talk to someone about it. Having spent less than a minute inside, Jeremy took off again, his bag left on the floor and his recently fixed bicycle creaking ever so loudly.
It was perhaps half an hour later that Jeremy realised he didn't know where Ana lived. Riding his bike aimlessly in the woods and shouting  "Ana, Ana!" would hardly yield any results. So he tried remembering what she had said yesterday. She lived at the edge of the woods, she had said. Problem was, it was probably at the other end. And that would take quite a long time. Yet, Jeremy didn't much care, it was a part of his routine anyway. Chasing squirrels in the woods or searching for the Lady of the Lake, it didn't matter, no one was waiting for him at home anyway. His heart felt heavy suddenly, and this reminded him of Anahasika.
The sun had moved from its overhead position and the sky had become a darker shade of blue, but all this was shielded from Jeremy's view; all he could see was the tops of lush green trees which was all the better, for he did not have to worry about anything today. All he had experienced was a normal day, and yet that was a first for him. It felt refreshing.
So when he reached the edge of the woods, following a shallow ravine through which a steady stream flowed, he was surprised to see that the sun was hanging low, like the makeshift ones used in their school plays. Squeakily cycling a bit slower now because of the slope, Jeremy could clearly see a steel colored caravan, shining golden in the low sun's light, parked next to the flowing stream. A few clothes were flying about against the wind from a line, and Jeremy was keen to notice one bright red kimono amongst them. Deciding that this had to be Anahasika Misaki's home (of course, who else?) Jeremy cupped his hands together and shouted through them, "Ana!" and was about to do that once more when a hand came out of nowhere and held his mouth shut.
"they will see you! Come back."
Jeremy was delighted to see Ana, dressed in a white kimono with purple embroidery, dragging him by his hand, and even more delighted to see that she was acting as mysterious as ever.
"why are you here?" she asked in a soft voice. Her expressions were unreadable.
"I just... Wanted to see you."
Jeremy dared not to look up. For some reason he felt stupid.
But when he did, Ana was still smiling in that weird way of hers, wide with her eyes close to being closed. Jeremy for the umpteenth time thought it was the prettiest smile he had seen.
"walk with me" she said.
Jeremy pulled his cycle with him as he fell in step with her. And so they found themselves laughing with the chirping birds, and Jeremy, no doubt in an attempt to impress her, chased the birds on his cycle, and Ana laughed more. Later, she sat behind Jeremy, holding on to his shirt, on his cycle as he rode slowly now, along the stream, deeper and deeper into the forest. The gushing noise of the water served to calm both of them down.
" hey Ana?"
Ana focused her big brown eyes up at Jeremy, whose face she couldn't see. It was so indescribably nice - like experiencing firsthand that "blue" could be both a color and a feeling - to be so close to someone, in silence. Ana was loath to break that comfortable spell, choosing to listen to the loud clinks of metal of Jeremy's bike everytime he went over a twig, and the distant noises of the wildlife (the occassional buzz of a dragonfly or the musical coo of a sparrow). So when he stopped his cycle near a massive boulder covered in moss, and it was time for Ana to get down, she did so with some small disappointment.
And so they remain there, seated on folded legs upon the floor of the woods, amidst the sounds of the nearby stream, Jeremy's cycle left propped up by the boulder and Ana's hair disheveled by the ride, for quite some time. While they had had no trouble conversing before, as the sun sank low, and both realised it was nearing time for them to go, neither he nor her had it in them to speak up.
Finally Jeremy began again.
" hey Ana?"
" yes, Jeremy?"
" how are your parents like?"
Ana didn't look at him, but down at a line of ants steadily marching away.
"they are okay, they are nice to me, I suppose." but her voice seemed to imply something else.
"what do you mean," you suppose"? You don't know for sure?"
" nothing like that, they are nice. I just wish they let me out to play more often."
" you are out right now." Jeremy observed.
" well, yeah, but you know. They don't like me mixing with other kids. They only let me go out to the woods where there aren't any people."
" you are mixing with a kid right now. Me." Jeremy half laughed. Ana smiled her perfect smile.
" you are the only one who comes to the woods to play. Other kids don't."
"so is that why you didn't want your mum and dad seeing me?"
" yeah. It's not just you, Jeremy, they just don't like uncalled visitors."
Jeremy nodded. He didn't understand, of course not. But he did understand that need some people had to be left alone, to be isolated. It was a shell close to impossible to break. Looking at Ana, Jeremy wondered whether Ana had been his impossible.
"don't you feel that's unfair? They can't tell you not to meet people. Isnt it natural to want to talk with others? I mean, thats what humans do: communicate."
" but I am communicating." Ana objected, her foreign tongue having some difficulty getting around the word, "I do communicate."
"but they are limiting it, and that's wrong."
Jeremy's hands were absentmindedly playing with a blade of grass, but his eyes kept stealing fleeting looks of Ana, who still looked at the line of ants intently. Jeremy noticed her increasing discomfort with this conversation, and yet he made no move to change his approach; he wanted to know more about the girl who had broken his shell. Was that selfish, Jeremy wondered.
"I never had any parents, you know?"
"what? What do you mean?" Jeremy's eyes reflected the shock he felt.
"I was born in a different country. Japan, I am told. Dont really remember anything about my real parents, but I remember the shrine I used to live in, just fine. I was abandoned there, see, in a shrine next to a lake. That old lady took care of me."
Ana smiled.
"old lady?"
"yeah, she was so old. Couldn't even talk." here, she laughed a short sad laugh, "but she used to play with me when I was little. Braid my hair, send me to sleep, catch fish from the lake and cook it. She taught me those little things. I wish I knew her name, but she couldn't speak and I couldn't understand the alphabet because no one could teach me."
Ana looked at Jeremy, and he held her brown eyes' gaze level with his own.
"one day, I was coming back from the forest, carrying a pile of firewood as big as me back then, and when I entered the shrine, I knew she wouldn't be there. I could feel it, feel the loss. When I entered her room, she was sleeping. And she stayed asleep.
" I never thought I was alone, the concept hadn't developed in my brain till then. But her death was terrifying. I can't explain how scary it was."
But her shudders explained enough. Jeremy extended his hand and took hers in his to let her know it was alright.
" I owe it to these people, Jeremy. You say it's wrong for them to limit my communication? Honestly, I have never known more communication in my life. When they found me in that shrine, and took me here, fed me and educated me and clothed me, they gave me my life. I owe them."
She was shaking, as if from an undiagnosed epilepsy. All Jeremy could do was hold her hand, firmly, as he sat on the forest floor just wondering how beautiful she was. Later, he would walk her back to the edge of the woods and she would leave giving him a final smile and then she would spend the night with people she wasn't related to, who imposed unreasonable rules upon her, and Jeremy would go back to his father, who imposed no rules at all, but all that was later. For now, Jeremy held her hand and hoped he could heal her the way she had healed him.