4 years later and... (MacGyver) *on Hold*

I should have said goodbye.

Thinking back, that was the best year of my life. We were so happy together which is exactly the reason why I can't wrap my head around him leaving.
"Mommy I want pancakes." I looked at Ben. He looks just like his father. I smiled at my little boy and put a hand on his cheek. "Chocolate or syrup sweetie?" "Choccy!" I laughed and stood up. Ben followed me to the kitchen so I picked him up and put him on the counter while I made us pancakes.

"You cheeky monkey!" I laughed as I chased Ben around the apartment. "No! No bath!" I stopped. "I even put bubbles in just like you asked." He giggled and stopped running. "Is there a duckie?" His blue eyes glowed. "But of course." He giggled again. That small smile on his face was all I lived for. He ran past me to the bathroom. When I got there he was trying to unbutton his shirt. I laughed and knelt down infront of him to do it for him. I kissed his nose and put on the TV and let him play in the bubbles with his little pirate ship.

While he was occupied I went to tidy his room. I couldn't help but think of Mac. Why would he just leave like that? I remember the day he left like it was yesterday.

*flashback*
"Ashley why are you in the bathroom?" "I'm getting my top. You know the one you threw across the room last night?" He laughed and came up behind me, pulled my top down and kissed my neck. "I love you so much." I grinned. "I'm sure the bed knows just as well as I do." He laughed and was about to turn me around when his phone started ringing. "I'll be right back baby." He let go of me and I immediately missed his warmth. "Baby I have to go into work really quickly I'll be back soon I promise." He kissed me quickly before leaving in a rush. I sighed and sat on the floor.

I should have told him I loved him one last time before he left and never came back. "MOMMY I DROPPED DE PIRATE!" I laughed and went to help my son. "Maybe it's time you got out of the bath." He nodded and put his arms up. I picked him up and sat him on the toilet so I could get a towel and dry him off. He giggled when I ruffled his wet hair and scrunched up his little nose when I dried his feet.

"Mommy can you sing to me pwease?" I grinned and kissed his forehead. I sat next to my little boy and began stroking his hair. I didn't know many lullabies so I always sang some rock song to him. I decided to sing Feels Like Forever by Of Mice and Men.

Did you ever contemplate when all is lost you hesitate
And nothing seems the same?
Have you ever hit your face and touched disgrace,
Decisions made, a picture with no words?
Say
You're okay,
I'm afraid that tomorrow is just too far
Away.
Fight the pain
It just feels like forever is crashing down on me
(Down on me, me, me)
They will fall, what's wrong with pain?
It heals the soul and turn the page to face another day.
Let me know that you will wait
And I will pay for my mistakes and feel the sun again
Say
You're okay,
I'm afraid that tomorrow is just too far
Away.
Fight the pain
It just feels like forever is crashing down on me
Don't break down.
Time will heal oh.
Just don't let go
One day we shall ? Again
Say
You're okay,
I'm afraid that tomorrow is just too far
Away.
Fight the pain
It just feels like forever (feels like forever)
Forever
Feels like forever is crashing down on me
(Down on me, me, me)
(Down on me!)

By the time I was finished Ben was fast asleep. I smiled and tucked him in before kissing his forehead one last time so I could leave and go to bed myself.

Sleep overtook me quickly but my mind couldn't help but wander back to the one and only Angus MacGyver.