My Bully Loves Me?

Chapter 17: Heart Wants What It Wants

Debby POV
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"Debby. Let's talk." Sammy says innocently taking my hand to our room.

Sammy and I share a room. We could all have our own room but I don't want her to feel alone, especially when our father nor mother are here.

"Ok." I sniffle. Sammy is so incredibly mature for her age. Again, we all are forced to grow up too soon.

"Why didn't you forgive Johnny?" She asks sweetly.

I'm deciding whether to sugar coat everything so she wouldn't have to worry about me or If I should spill everything.

"Debby, it's ok. I don't want you to hold it in no more. I don't want you to cut." She looks into my eyes sweetly.

I smile and let out a deep breath.

"He is better off without me."

"Johnny? Better off without you? Debby, he loves you. He will be worse without you." She smiles sweetly.

"Sams, he smoked because of me. I broke up with him and he smoked. I can't let him do that every time we have a fight. Plus, if he didn't find out I cut then this would never happen. He deserves a girl who doesn't cut. I'm a mess Sammy." I weep into my pink pillow.

"But you are beautiful Debby. He wants you back and I know deep inside of you, you want him too. Don't hold this cutting thing against you. You will never let yourself be happy if you keep holding onto the fact you still cut. You are recovering Debby. That's what matters. You are trying to be better Debby. It's not your fault, we don't have a mom or a dad who care about us, we are alone. At least we have a house and we have each other, daddy and mommy don't hate us. They just are never here... Debby, don't push away the guy who loves you. He cares about you, he made a mistake, but we all have."

Ladies and gentlemen, my five year old sister.

God, she is so wise! I can't help but hug her.

"I love you Sammy! But what should I do?" I wipe some tears.

"Forgive Johnny. I'm not saying you should get back with him, that's your choice. But you should at least forgive him." She smiles

I think about everything she has said. I really need to stop thinking bad about me. I need to let myself be happy. But can I? The past always comes to haunt me back somehow.

"How about we go to the outlet?" I ask Sammy sweetly.

The outlet is the mall of stores were I went for my birthday last time.

"You sure Debby?" She asks worried.

"Yes. I need some fresh air and need a break."

"Ok!" Sammy hugs me and goes to her closet to change.

I walk to my closet to change out of my basketball shorts and shirt.

I pick a white flowy tank, I put a long sleeve blue denim shirt over it without buttoning it up. I roll up the sleeves and add some white and gray shorts. I add some bracelets and I am ready to go. (PICTURE OF THE OUTFIT ON THE SIDE)

"Ready?" I ask Sammy as she gets out from her walking closet right after I come out of mine.

She is wearing a pink tutu with black sparkly converse. She has a white, black and pink sparkly shirt that says, "just a girl".

"Yep!" She jumps up and down.

We get out of the house, and walk to the outlet. On our way we sing and dance. It's really fun! I'm glad I can clear my mind about everything. Deep inside I'm a mess. I wanna cry but like how Sammy said, I should be a bit happy in my life.