poems for the ones who are just like me

As I lay here

As I lay here

Moments that once were, creep into my head unavoidablely right before everything just might be okay again.

As if my body is controlled by a history that repeats itself, everyday is the same.

I can't help but contemplate for hours, that I am trapped in a whirl pool that will kill me, the same pool I loved to play in as a kid, the same memory will spark a flash in my head when I am just driving to work. It will make me wish I turned that steering wheel 90 degrees 5 minutes ago

Why will the past, no matter how insignificant a memory was, take me as it's prisoner and rob me from my future that was never even promised to me?

Being an inmate here, fighting against my own guards has never been an easy task, but you would think I'd be good at it by now.