If we stand together we will be unbroken

Chapter 12

Peppys View

I woke up.

The sun was to light for me to sleep. So I put my face on Andy's chest,grumbling,because I was sleepy.

We was in the tour bus,but I don't realized it,my tired mind just wanted to cuddle and sleep.

Andy's arms drew me on his chest and I fell asleep again.

Later,a few ours after my useless state,I woke up again and my body don't wanted to sleep anymore.I sat up.

Why the hell was I in the tour bus...? And where was Andy...?

"Andy...?

Are you here...?"

I looked around myself and realized,he wasn't here.

Then,suddenly I became sad.

Sad,like I've never been before.

Of course.Why should he love me?

He just wanted sex and now he was away.

I looked out of the window.

Then I saw him and a smile came back to my cheeks.

But then he hugged an other girl.

It wasn't that he hugged her.

It was how he hugged her.

It was like he liked her very very much.Then he kissed her cheek.

Tears ran down my cheeks.

Why should he want more than a friendship with me?

If he even wanted a friendship..

I knew,it was too fast to thing like this,but at this moment it doesn't mattered.

I just looked at one point in the air.I was so stupid.

Why should anyone love me?

I was right.

The whole time.

I still wasn't good enough.

Then I used to byte my lips,still quiet and closed my eyes.

I wanted to run away.

Just away from this tour bus.

So I stood up,still crying and took my trousers on,his shirt out and my bra and own shirt on.

I gave no fuck at this moment how I looked like. So I opened the door and jumped outside.

Without looking back,I ran away from the camping place and into a forest,next to the place.

After a long time,I sat down to the floor,my body wasn't able to run anymore.

Then I laid down and cried more.

More,more,more.

It was so beautiful here.

So peaceful.

So...noiseless.

I closed my eyes.

Why was I such a naive,stupid....thing??

All the self-hate,I all the years felt before Ayla and me got best friends,came back.

All the strength,our band have given me,was disappeared.

I pulled my hair and shook my head. No! All these daemons came back into my head. No!

I don't wanted to listen to them!