12 04 | k.sj [six] √

12 04

The knife pierced through me, instead of him standing in front of me. Why? I spurted blood from my mouth, feeling pain explode within me like fire crackers. Beautiful on first glance but actually deadly. Then I remembered. This knife will not kill anyone but yourself when faced in the situation of you and your loved one. That was what Namjoonie told me. I fucking forgot, in my crazed daze of killing.

Is this how my life is supposed to be? Burn bright and shine like a diamond, but once it turns black I'm back to be useless and worthless. My power that I obtained, does it actually kill me than heal me?

Memories of the past came back to me. I was once like that too, and to destroy them, I burned everything down. I thought I changed when I met you, but I got worse. I started burning and slashing everything down, bringing it down to ashes instead of just leaving them after destroying what's around them. I felt the excitement in the blood spraying across my face and how my blades danced in rhythm to the skin it cut across. Such harmony, and it finished with my signature kerosene waterfall with a click and throw of the fire lighter.

A show I've come to perfect while I grew up, being oppressed by anyone and everyone. The only one that welcomed me was you, and the only one who exhausted all ways to save me from the demon within me.

I dropped to the ground, gurgling from the blood spilling out from me. You came running, tears already streaking down your eyes. You placed my head on your lap, mumbling "Don't talk, stay awake." repeatedly, almost feverishly. You fumbled for your phone and called the ambulance. You gave them our location and immediately looked back at me again. I was looking up at you, feeling my sight blackening. I tried to speak amidst the blood I was coughing out.

"My dear, you aren't at fault. You tried to save me," I coughed again, more blood coming out. You hushed me and held my head closer to your chest. I could hear your heartbeat thumping in fear. I closed my eyes and enjoyed it. After all, I could never ever hear it again when I'm gone.