The Bad Boy's Sleeping Beauty

Chapter 24

The entire school knew now. Everyone seemed to try and be decent and since Zayne hadn't returned to school the entire week everyone payed their respects to me. I hated it when someone would stop me on my way to lunch and tell me that they knew I was 'close' to Zayne and that they were sorry for his lose.

It was all pure bullshit.

I'd look out to his window and hope to see him there but his curtains--which he'd drawn the day of the funeral--remained shut and still. I didn't know if he was there or not but I also didn't have the guts to figure out if he was there.

I missed him so much. I often found myself typing a message or an email but before I hit send I'd delete it. They went along the lines of:

To: Zayne.T@icloud.com
Cc: Zayne Thatcher
Subject: Where Are You?

Where are you? I miss the way you played your music at the clearing and I miss the way...(delete)

I always ended up deleting the emails and shutting off my laptop. I hated this.

I hated feeling alone. When my father left Zayne was there along with his mom and they welcomed me into their home with open arms. Clara was almost like a mother to me and I enjoyed her company but now she was gone. No one was left to console me and to make me happy and fulfilled and even though Zoë thought she could do all of that, she couldn't.

She and Preston had been in love and sappy and when they saw what a state I was in since the passing of Zayne's mother they tried to be helpful and supportive but I knew I couldn't expect so much from them.

I wanted someone that understood me and didn't walk in eggshells around me constantly. I'd often visit the clearing to try and find closure and contentment but I used it as a vent area.

Most days, after school, I'd go to the clearing and sit by myself in the overgrown grass that seemed more dull, less vibrant. The fireflies seemed to dim and the small lake had lost its twinkle and no longer winked as much and I found myself staring at the empty rock. The rock Zayne would play his music at and I remained far away from it. I didn't want to trespass.

Life seemed depressing and meaningless without the person who almost ran me over with a motorcycle and the person that listened to me vent when I was drunk. Zayne had somehow weaved his way into the darkest pits of my heart and now, his sudden absence had lit a thousand lights and made his presence known.

I never knew that someone could mean so much to me and it hurt knowing that I couldn't fix their pain and their sorrows. It was even more excruciating to know that I might've caused his initial hurt. My heart ached at the thought everyday.

*

For once I was partaking in the torturous PE activities and although my lungs burned and yearned for me to stop and indulge in one drop of water, I refused. The running helped me focus on anything else but him and the sadness.

It wasn't difficult to see that the entire class was baffled by my sudden athleticism. Coach Dunne didn't say a word even when I continued running laps around the field after the entire class stopped. He knew my pain.

After the bell rang I stopped at the bleachers and took a seat and drank some water. Sweat coated my body like a second layer and I felt my body instantly cool when the wind kissed my glistening, sweaty body.

"Rori?" The sound of my best friends voice rang in my ears.

Zoë stood before me, eyebrows furrowed and her fingers twiddling nervously. "I know you're going through a lot and that's why I think it's a good idea you come to the dance with Preston, Bash and I."