The Yellow Windowsill

1: Half Alive

I was five years old at the time my parents left me all alone. I was found in the old house crying and and trapped in my mom's old closet. My parents were never found, it was as if they decided to just get up and walk out the door. My parents were never much of drinkers and they barely ever fought, at least of what I remember. They had a marriage as perfect as it could be. It was all but a mystery to everyone, including me as to the reason they left. The only thing I had left of them was my mom's old journal, which is my most valued possession. I was taken to the little foster home in Elkhart and ever since, I've always wanted to just leave. Looking through my yellow windowsill at all the trees and buildings was the best way I could pretend that I wasn't an orphan and that I wasn't going to be stuck in this town forever.

By the time I was ten years old, I started to loose hope of ever being able to have a place to call home. Couples came in and a family went out. I just wish I could have that. As the days passed, I realized that I was never going to have a true home.

I'm fifteen years old and I'm still stuck in the same room I've lived in for almost eleven years. I stare at the town outside of my window sighing as I do so. Footsteps come up from behind me and I see one of my roommates, Liza, come in.

"Hazel, come on, we have to say goodbye to Rosie." She says, using her hand to motion me towards her. I sigh and jump off of the edge of the windowsill and follow Liza into the main lobby. One of our friends, Rosie, is being fostered. I can see Liza start to tear up, her and Rosie were close enough to be sisters and now they were being separated. Once they finish saying goodbye, Liza runs back into the room and I go up and hug the ten year old.

"Take care of yourself, okay?" I whisper into her hear. I can feel her nod and I let go, my eyes starting to burn with tears. I blink the tears away and watch as Rosie and her new family walk out of the door, into their car, and drive away.

〰〰〰

That night, I grab my mom's journal and a flashlight, like I do every night, and start to read a new entry from when she was eighteen in high school.

I finish reading what my mother once wrote and put the journal back into the small box underneath the crack in the floor.

〰〰〰

As I lay in my bed, I can't help but think of all the kids that have been able to leave this place throughout the year. I shift in my bed on the bottom bunk and force my eyes shut. I sigh and shift in my bed again, drifting off into a restless sleep.

My feet pound against the uneven ground, narrowly avoiding getting caught on various broken tree limbs.
I'm finally free.
My moment of glee is cut short when something wraps tightly around my ankle, pulling me back in the direction of my prison, causing me to thrash around and scream out, but it was to no avail.

I wake up with a small gasp to see a startled Liza standing right over me.
"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

I shake my head, "No, it's ok. What's up."

"Well, Happy Birthday!" She yells out and gives me a tight hug. I sit there in surprise and pat Liza's back awkwardly. I had completely forgotten that I'm turning sixteen today. 

"Um, Thanks I guess." I say more like a question, giving the eleven year old a small smile. She stands up, nodding with a grin and walks away to put on her day clothes.
I sigh and smile to myself, I'm finally sixteen. Two more years and I could be legally responsible for myself and I would be able to leave.