What To Say

Hey I'm Jessie, I'm sweet very shy and loving. When I was born, my parents didn't know what was wrong with me. No matter what they did they couldn't find a way too hear my voice or make me talk. When I hit the age of 2 and I still wasn't speaking, they new something was wrong. It was like I was dead, no emotions, no voice, I was just another person in the baby care.

They took me to the hospital at least 2 times a week. Finally the doctors told my parents I was a mute. They didn't believe it, they kept trying and trying to make me speak. Nothing worked.

So here I am now, in a privet school away from my parents, the ones that said they would do anything to make me speak. WHAT A LIE!

I hate being here, getting picked on and teased, my life is shit. I have to write everything I want to say and my teachers aren't doing anything to help me. Putting me in boarding school won't help me speak,it's making me happy I don't speak.

I just want to die. I almost did.... In 7th grade. The stress of being hated for something you can't control just killed me inside to the point to when I was done.

I went to my dorm room. I was hated so much that people didn't even want to be in the same room as me. So I have my own room.

I remember getting everything together, the rope , the note and the chair. I was crying the whole time and I knew I need to relax or I wouldn't be able to kill myself. So I walked over to me window and looked up at the wonderful blue sky that I would so much miss.

As I was looking outside I saw a boy, he must of been new because I never seen him around school. He was pretty cute but no one that would be interested in me. I watched as he started walking into the dorm that I was in. I was so confused, there where no more rooms left. BUT ONE IN MINE! I started to panic. What if he sees what I was about to do.

I closed the window and ran to where I had everything together. Where should I hide it. I heard the elevator hit a stop. I picked up everything and ran and put them into the empty closet. As you can see I was young and that was all I could think of to do.

Nock nock! He really is staying in my dorm room. I opened the door and saw 2 hazel eyes sparkling at me. What was this feeling that I had then I looked into them.

"Hey I'm Matt, I think this is the room I'm staying it. Are you Jessie?"

I didn't know what to do. Do I write and tell him I can't speak or should I just walk away. The easiest thing to do is just walk away. So I did. I walked into the room not saying a word.

" I umm, I'm not sure I your ok with a boy in your room like this but I promise I won't do anything to hurt or upset you."

I nodded my head in ok and sat on my bed. I pointed to his bed, and he look confused.

"Oh I see, this beds mine?"

I nodded again. There was an awkward vibe going on as he started to unpack. I really wanted to tell him that I was a mute but it would be too soon. I walked over to my refrigerator and grabbed a water bottle. I then went back and sat on my bed.

I began to study Matt. He looked about 5foot 8". He had brown hair that came into his face a little. Not too much to cover his eyes though. He looked buff, I don't know if it's the shirt that makes him look that way but he looked really strong. He had fair white skin just like mine, he wasn't that bad looking.

I guess I was starring too long because he looked at me and started to laugh.

"Is there something wrong? Do I have something on me?"

I shook my head in no.

"Well that's good, if there was a spider on me, I would of ran out the window." I laughed at his corny little statement. I took a drink of my water and laid down. I was still kinda starring at Matt but it wasn't that clear.

"So now that I finished all this unpacking and I'm pretty settled in, can I get to know you more?" Matt asked as he sat on his bed. Oh no, he wants to talk? This isn't good, I'm going to have to to tell him I'm a mute now. I stared to panic and every time I panic I start to cry. He noticed.

"I'm....I'm sorry I.... Did I say something wrong? We don't have to talk if you don't want to it's just that, I don't want to share a room with someone I know nothing about. But it's fine, you don't have to talk to me." Matt was so sweet. I began to calm down. I walked over to my little white board and stared to write.

I said "I'm sorry, I don't talk to many people and it just scared me when you said you wanted to talk. I'm Jessie, I'm writing on this board because I'm a mute. I can't talk. No mater what, nothing will come out, I don't even know what I sound like."

He sat and read it. I could see sadness in his eyes, that was a first. When I tell people that I'm a mute they either just laugh or say sucks for you. He finished reading and handed me back the board.

"So u can't talk huh. I...I don't know what to say to that. Do you know when this thing will stop?"

What did he just say? Are you kidding me, you act like I can stop this. I just wanted to rip his head off. I can't change how I was born. Instead of writing anything nasty back I just said "I have no idea when this will stop, I've been like this all my life so...."

" I see well I guess I can do with a roommate that can't talk. It's going to be very interesting." He said with a smirk. Those words that Matt just said made me so happy. No one has ever been so nice to me before. I just wanted to hug him, and cry in his arms. Matt was different from the others, he wasn't mean or judgmental, he was kind, caring and was a person I always wish was my friend. The day finally came, where I wasn't alone in the world.

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This is my first time writing so I hope u enjoy the rest of the book, I'll try my very best to make it something all reader will like:)