It was an ordinary hot Monday in san José, the streets were packed even though it was 1pm. The bus window was open and the cool summer breeze was playing with my hair while mgmt talked about being famous and getting high.
"I'm so glad design class is finally over!" I thought to myself, it has been a very rough semester, oh sorry forgot to explain. I'm on my first year of architecture and it's been pretty rough, the change is really getting to me.
The last day of a really hard semester is over and I had passed all of my classes, I'm so proud of myself! I survived, now it's time to relax and visit Italy to find some inspiration.
My parents had promised me a trip to Europe, I was leaving in about one week to visit London, Italy and France! for 4 months! all alone with my cousin, Alex, in big Europe. Some people even tried to scare me but I'm sure they were just too fucking jealous.
It was the time of my life, everything was going extremely well, school was great, my friends were great and my family was well... functioning. I was just missing someone to smile to, I have been missing that person all of my life and it has always bothered me but I have to keep living and just keep it in the back of my head, it's not like I'm 70 and alone, I'm just 17 for Christ sake.
The song kept on playing and the same thoughts kept running through my mind, I have hidden the fact that I'm truly afraid of going to Europe and being alone wouldn't help me avoid it, it just made it worse.
I thought of every gruesome way I could die, plane crash, car crash, crazy party, fucked up hotel, even more fucked up town, train crash.. same thoughts over and over.
Geez! how far am I from my stop! again talking to myself, I even made weird faces when I talked t myself. My sister, Elizabeth, loved to make fun of my when I did those strange faces, she even knew what I was thinking just by looking at my expression.
In the middle of a great classic such as imagine by sir John Lennon my iPod decided to bail on me, leaving me and my thoughts exposed to rest of the passengers. Instead of hearing the smooth and poetic words of Lennon, I had to hear a little girl throwing a fit to her mother cause she wanted the SpongeBob watch instead of the Patrick watch.
That little girl remained me of myself, I used to be so selfish with everyone around me, always crying and getting away with it. But now I'm all grown up and no one will stand my bullshit or my fits anymore. Oh how I miss those days, all that troubled my sleep was if tomorrow granny would play with me, I miss so much that innocence.
The little girl stopped crying and looked deeply at me, like I was her new toy. She smiled a devilish smile, but her mother distracted her, and me. by holding her and walking off the bus. Then I came back to reality and realized that I had just missed my stop.
Shit! I get so sucked into my thoughts that I forget everything around me. Sometimes I feel like I have some type of autism.
I got off at the next stop, I didn't had to walk too much to meet my mother, who was waiting impatiently inside her white old discovery. From the distance I saw her talking, well not talking yelling, at her phone. The sunlight hit her face through the window, she looked so beautiful, so not like me. Then her hazel eyes saw me, she stopped talking and opened the car door for me. I eagerly jumped in waiting for the same question she always asks.
"How was your day?" She always seemed interested to know about how things were going at the university, the gossips about my friends and the compliments on my work.
"I'm just glad that class is over!"I gladly responded looking through the window, I found so amazing how everything looked when the car was going really fast, it was like the shapes didn't mattered, just the colors did.
