Mission Inlovable

Prologue

Mission Inlovable © 2014 YiEn and Josephine

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This book, "Mission Inlovable", including all chapters, epilogues and associated contents are copyrighted. All rights reserved by the owner and creator of this work, and any unauthorized copying, broadcasting, manipulation, distribution or selling of this work constitutes as an infringement of copy right. Any infringement of this copy right is punished by law.

Hey guys! We are trying out to write a book together! We are Yi En and Josephine. We will take turns in updating so I hope that each update will not be so slow seeing that there's two of us writing... Anyways, hope you guys enjoy this book! Love you guys! Please show us your support by voting and commenting! All your comments will be replied(hopefully) and all your votes will be appreciated(definitely). That's about it^^

~sparkle_butterfly~

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Prologue

Not the same dream again. Why do I always have to endure all this nightmares? Can't they just go away? I'm over it! Totally over it! So why does it always haunt me again and again? It's very rare that I can have a good night sleep these few years. It had been getting better for a while, but now, the nightmares are ten times worse. And what made it the most horrible thing was that all my nightmares are coming true.

They are part of my life. My past, my present and my future. And the sad thing is that I don't know how to stop it and what to do with it. Mom is not around and Dad? Let's not talk about him. He's.... Sigh...

You know, I've always dreamed of my perfect future when I was a little kid, when all I ever thought about was rainbows and unicorns. I always thought of my life in a ways that everything will go smoothly my way, not a single bump on the road that I can't handle. But no. My whole life had been a mess! I don't know what's going to happen next and I can't predict what's going to happen next and worst of all, I can change my future. Not in the way I wanted it to be. Do you know how that feels like?

You always dreaded waking up in the morning because you don't know what's going to happen, you dreaded going to sleep because you don't know what could happen while you're asleep. And worst of all, you can't even relax the whole day like a normal teenager wanted to. Only one thought consumed you. Fear. That's all the things you can think about.

Counting next second, dreading the next minute and fearing the next hour. Afraid that something's going to happen to you or to the one you love. How could anyone not when they have a crappy life like mine?

I sleep alone, I eat alone and most of all, I live alone. My house is not small, it's like a freaking mansion. Yes, I'm rich. But what good can money do when it can't even buy away your fear? Or that it can't even buy you happiness?

And it's useless living in a mansion when there is no one around to talk to you, to accompany you and to take away the loneliness. Well... Except the cleaners and the maids. But they come and go, and I never got a chance to talk to them because all of them avoided me like I'm a disease. The only reason they stayed was because of the money. Without it, they would be gone too.

I never had any close friends, much less a person to share my deepest and darkest secrets with. Nope. Not at all. At the age of 11, I had to be independent and do everything by myself. That was the year where all my nightmares begun.

I'm eighteen now, and if you think that seven years is enough to help me get used to this kind of crappy life, then you're wrong. Sometimes, I feel so frustrated and hopeless that I just want to scream and bang my head on the wall. There was a few times when I even thought about giving up.

I mean, what's the point of living when you have a life like mine? Why not just let it all go? The pain would stop, the loneliness would go away and most of all, all my fear will dissolve. I once thought that it was worth it, to give all of my life away when I can't even find a ray of sunshine in my tunnels of darkness.

There was no one to guide me to a crack, where I would find a ray of light shinning in. No one. In the end, I was too much of a coward to kill myself. I don't know if it was a good or bad thing that I can't die. Because I have no one to rely on at all. No one to lean on and no one will ever accept me. It will forever be me, myself and I.

I am just a waste of air and space, I am useless. That's what everyone tell me in school. No one appreciates me at all. Some people wants to make friends with me because of my wealth, but not because they actually like me. That hurts even more.

Does that mean that I'm that worthless? I'm that repulsive? I'm that disgusting? I don't know. But what I do know is that people are making me think like that. Like I am a piece of shit in this world, like I am the low class in this society and I'm just an unwanted trash in the dumpster.

I had gotten used to all those teasings and bullying in school, I'm like a block of ice now. Untouchable. Unreachable. I learnt how to close up all of my feelings after all these years, and I hate showing any form of weakness to others, because then, people would know that what they say or do to me still hurts. And that will encourage them more. If I'm like a block of ice that never melts whenever I'm placed beside a fire, then the fire would stop. People would stop.

That doesn't make things easier for me though. The teachers doesn't like me even though I have good grades, the students still avoid me like a plague and most of all, there is no one who wants to you know, get to know me.

I have never went on a date my entire life. My first kiss is still with me and even the pecks on the cheeks are non-existent. Yes, that's right. It's pathetic really. But I can't help it. It's not my fault that boys don't find me pretty or attractive enough to be asked out. Since young, I've always dreamed that one day, my Prince Charming would arrive and sweep me off my feet.

He would take away all my pain and unhappiness and provide me with unconditional love. Well... That was before everything turned upside down. Now I wish that he will never come. Love is not what I want now. I don't even want to have any friends so what's the point of falling in love? No one likes me anyway...

Now, everything is more difficult than ever, because it's all coming back. All those pent up feelings and nightmares are coming back. I'm afraid. No. I'm actually terrified. For the first time in my life, I have never been so scared before. For the first time in my life, I want someone to comfort me, to tell me that everything is going to be alright. And for the first time in my life, I want someone to love me for me and to take away my pain and burden.

Because for the first time in my life, I want to be in love.

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So please please please tell me what you think ok? This prologue is not edited by the way. So please pardon all my mistakes.

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By: Yi En 8/2/14