IF JOKES COULD KILL [compilation of jokes i found on the web]

IF JOKES COULD KILL PART 1

Hey Wattpaders! IF JOKES COULD KILL is a compilation of jokes I found on the WWW.

BTW... There's also a youtube video... I really suggest you watch it.... It's super funny... It's actually a parody of Telephone by: Lady Gaga... Hope you enjoy the vid & the jokes :D

JOKES PART 1

source: thejokeyard.com

1. NO BATHROOM BREAK

One day there was this little boy named Johny he had to go to the bathroom so he raised his hand and asked the teacher "can I go to the bathroom." she said no.

Then 5 mins later he raised his hand and said "damit I have to piss can I go to the bathroom."She said "no not with that mouth."She said now go to the corner and say your a,b,c's.frontwords and backwords

He went to the corner and said "a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z"

Then he said "z,y,x,w,v,u,t,s,r,q,o,n,m,l,k,j,i,h,g,f,e,d,c,b,a"

Then she said "Where is the p."

Lil Johny said "Running down my leg."

This joke was submitted by:

Brooke

2. JOHNNY'S HEAVY WAGON

Little Johnny was going to his father's house one day and he was packing everthing in his room and putting it in his little red wagon.

He was walking to his fathers house with his wagon behind him, when he came to this hill.

He started up the hill but was constantly swearing "This God damn thing is so heavy"

A priest heard him and came out. "You shouldn't be swearing" said the priest. "God hears you...He is everywhere...He's in the chruch...He's on the sidewalk...He's everywhere"

Then Little Johnny says "Oh is he in my Wagon"

The prist replies "Yes Johnny. God is in your Wagon"

Little Johnny says "Well tell him to get the hell out and start pulling"

This joke was submitted by:

Matt R S

3. WHAT'S IN THE BAG?

Little Johnny goes to school one day and the teacher has a brown paper bag

She reaches her hand in it and says it's round, it's got a stem, and it's got a leaf.

Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "It's an apple."

Then he says, "now let me give you one."

He reaches his hand in his pocket and says it's round, it's hard , and it's got a head.

The teacher says, "Ohh Johnny that's grose."

Little Johnny says, "no it's a quater but I like the way you're thinking."

4. FART NAMES

Funny euphemisms people use for farts ...

Gravy Pants

Firing Scud Missiles

Turd Honking

Mud Duck

Panty Burps

Pant Stainers

Cut the Cheese

Trouser Cough

K-Fart

Crack Splitters

Turd Tooties

Anal Audio